Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many societies, obesity is cause as a major problem. Some people think jund food advertisment is largely to blame and also should be banned. Many people think that junk food does not contribute problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Junk food is major problem for health issues like heart disease, belly fat, insulin, and many other physical health. If a person continuelly eat junk food like burger pizza and many other things his health is not good. They fell lazy and not work actively. For example, If a child who is going to school and eat burgers he is not good in his study. Teacher are not satisfy his studies.

Many people thinks that advertisments contribute the problem of junk food. They create many problems because everyone watch tv and see advertisments so they want to eat junk food its not good for health. If a person eat junk food they are not going gym. They going to hospital beacuse they are not concious about their health.

In my opinion, advertisments should me banned and no body knows about the junk food everyone eat healthy food its benefits. They provide protien iron and energy for our body. These types of food keeps healthy and fresh. Vegetables and eggs provide healthy mind. So avoid junk food eat healthy foods for good health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear opinion that junk-food advertising should be banned, and you mention health effects such as heart disease and insulin problems. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing view—that advertising does not contribute to obesity—is not meaningfully explained. The response mainly argues that junk food is unhealthy and that advertising encourages people to eat it, with little supporting evidence or development. The example about a schoolchild’s studies does not clearly show how advertising causes obesity. The response is also 34 words below the 250-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop both sides with relevant reasons and examples, then explain why your position is stronger. This limited coverage and development fit the response’s current level of task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, points about health and advertising, and a concluding opinion. This gives the reader some sense of the intended progression. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently enough to make the discussion easy to follow. The paragraph beginning “Many people thinks that advertisments contribute” repeats the claim that advertising is harmful rather than presenting the opposing view required by the task. Connections between ideas are also unclear: the move from advertising to going to the gym and then to hospital visits is not explained. Use each paragraph for one clear purpose, add linking explanations between claims, and use references such as “this influence” only when their meaning is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “obesity,” “advertisements,” “heart disease,” and “healthy food,” so the general subject is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “junk food,” “health,” and “problem.” Inaccurate spelling and word choice also make parts difficult to read, as in “jund food,” “continuelly,” and “not concious.” Some expressions are not natural in context, such as “belly fat, insulin” and “healthy mind.” Build a wider set of accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For example, specify “high blood sugar” rather than listing “insulin” as a health problem, and use “physical activity” when discussing exercise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and a few longer sentences, including a conditional example beginning “If a person…” and a sentence explaining that people see advertisements and want to eat junk food. However, the range of sentence structures remains very limited, and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include “obesity is cause,” “Many people thinks,” “If a person continuelly eat,” and “Teacher are not satisfy”; these show problems with verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. Some sentences also lack clear grammatical links, such as “If a person eat junk food they are not going gym.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete conditional sentences first, then add a small number of longer structures with clear punctuation.

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