Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people think that the advertisement of junk food is largely blame for thew problem of obesity where as, others think adversitement dose not have any contribution to the problem.

This essay will focus on both the aspects followed by my opinion.

To begin with, people supports the concept due to several reason. Advertisement make people know about the product and make them curious to try it. To explain it in details. the

concepts and ideas that are used to make the advertisement are very insean they make product looks very attractive and delicious and they paly with the physocology of human

which will make them feel from inside thats the product they seen is very intresting and ammazing and they should try it. for instance, if somebody is walking from the street where

there are lots of advertisemnts of foods products they will make people physocologycally

to try the product and they cant take thay more and will go for it which cointain alot of calorise in single time that the body requires in whole day which will make body absorb it into fat and

make people obesity.

on the otherhands, advertising dose not contibute to the problem and should not be banned is followed by some for its merits. It gives people information about the new products and helps them to make the knowledgeful.Elaborating on it, if threr are advrtisement board or screen around the streets when peole by pass the street they will look at the board or screen

and they can get information and about product which will help them to make knowledegful with out wanting for it. To be specific, peopel are jut walking through the street abd they gets knowledge that means it is benefical so some peopel think advertising sholud nit be bannned.

To conclude, the ideas and techology that avertisement use are the key things which pand lay with the physoclology of human and make them to try for the prouduct but some thinks that they are informative and knowledgeful. Regarding my opinion i strongly belive that adertising dose not contribute to the problem of obesity becuse if you have controle over yours mind and thoughts and if you are a person of discipline then it will not affect you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear personal position in the conclusion: you argue that advertising is informative and that personal discipline matters more. The first body paragraph also gives a relevant explanation of how persuasive adverts may encourage people to try calorie-dense food. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The example of seeing food adverts while walking is hypothetical and does not establish how advertising contributes to obesity, while the opposing view is supported mainly by the claim that adverts provide information. Your opinion that advertising does not contribute is also asserted rather than fully justified, and it does not clearly reconcile the persuasive influence described earlier. Develop each side with more specific reasoning or evidence, then explain why your own view outweighs the alternative.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “on the other hand,” and “To conclude” help readers identify the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow. The first body paragraph moves from advertising to curiosity, psychology, street adverts, calories, and obesity in one long chain, with unclear links between some points. The second paragraph repeats the idea that adverts provide information without adding much development. Some transitions are mechanical, and references such as “they” and “it” do not always make clear whether they refer to people, adverts, or products. Use shorter, logically connected sentences and make each paragraph develop one central claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “advertisement,” “product,” “calories,” “psychology,” and “discipline,” and you try to express ideas about persuasion and information. However, the range is limited and many words are repeated, especially “advertisement,” “product,” and “people.” Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms—such as “adversitement,” “insean,” “physocology,” and “knowledgeful”—make the writing harder to understand and reduce precision. Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “make people psychologycally to try” and “make them to make knowledgeful.” Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocation carefully. Choosing precise expressions such as “influence food choices” or “provide consumers with information” would make your points clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, including “if you have control over your mind … then it will not affect you.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur throughout. For example, “people supports” should use a plural verb, while “Advertisement make people know” has an incorrect verb form and number agreement. The opening sentence is difficult to parse because clauses are joined without clear punctuation, and the long sentence beginning “the concepts and ideas…” contains several incomplete or poorly connected parts. These errors sometimes obscure the intended relationships between ideas. Practise writing shorter complete sentences first, then combine them with accurate conjunctions and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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