Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, advertisment of junk food is being discussed on large scale that either it should be banned or not. While, some people believe that advertisment of junk food should be banned and others argue of it not being a problem for obesity. I believe that advertising junk food in itself is not a problem, meanwhile, obesity is caused by various other factors.

The primary reason for people saying that adervtising should be banned is because, a vast majority is influenced by it, For an instance, a sceintific research published by Harvard on advertising says that bulk of actions taken by a person through their life is by getting influenced. For example, I want to buy a cellphone, how will i but it? In simple by getting knowledge of it through a well known person on social media. It can be either a celebrity or a tech enthusiast, therefore, it clealy shows that advertisment affects.

On the other hand, masses saying that it doesnot contribute in the problem of obesity have their opnion affected by multiple reasons. For example, a person who is even eating healthy food and is sitting dull at his home without any physical activity will surely get obese.

Concluding this i would say that junk food advertisment specifically does not play an individual role in obesity and should not be banned. An Oxford research on physical activity will back my point of view as it says that excess use of any food without physical activity including strength training will make you obese. A person who want to stay health should atleast do strength training for 120 minutes per week. It individually donot depend on advertisment but on human response to that advertisment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both positions and state a clear view: advertising is not, in your opinion, the sole cause of obesity and should not be banned. The example of someone eating healthily but remaining inactive is relevant to the opposing view, and your conclusion returns to the role of personal response and physical activity. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The paragraph supporting a ban relies mainly on a broad claim about advertising’s influence and a cellphone example, which does not directly show how junk-food promotion affects eating or obesity. The evidence attributed to Harvard and Oxford is also asserted rather than explained. Develop each view with a specific food-related example and clarify how it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” and “Concluding this” help signal the direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The cellphone example shifts away from junk food, and the connection between it and the claim about obesity needs to be made explicit. The final paragraph introduces research and a training recommendation, so the conclusion feels like a new argument rather than a concise synthesis. Some linking is also mechanical, particularly repeated use of “For example.” Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “obesity,” “physical activity,” “advertising,” and “influenced,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “advertisment,” “bulk of actions,” “sitting dull,” and “stay health.” Some expressions are also vague, such as “a vast majority is influenced by it,” without specifying what people do or how their eating changes. Aim for accurate, natural phrases related to the topic, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish exposure to advertising from the choices people make in response to it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example (“a person who is even eating healthy food…will surely get obese”) and a relative clause (“A person who want to stay health…”). However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “While, some people believe…” is an incomplete opening clause, and “A person who want” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Concluding this i would say” also needs clearer punctuation and sentence boundaries. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement and punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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