Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some communities, obesity is considered to be a serious problem. Some people argue that the advertisments of fast food is a major reason for this development and it should be banned. Others, however contradict this view and believe that commericial ads doesn't aid to the issue. I partially agree with this opinion because commericialism significantly influence people's choice of choosing a meal but educating the general public is suitable solution to overcome this problem.

On the one hand, many brands nowadays use promotional campaigns to boost their sales. They spend considerable amount of money on the billboards placed within the cities, television ads, and social media posts. Therefore, a significant number of people, especially young generation often get impressed with the quality of junk food shown on the internet and make it part of their daily diet. Therefore, these individuals reduce the use of healthy products and falls victim of unhealthy meals such as pizza and burger, which are the culprits of obesity.

The most suitable way to tackle this issue isn't to ban the advertisement, instead make a good use of it to educate people about healthy diets so they can make good decisions for themselves. For example, commercial ads on television can broadcast the list of beneficial food items, the ingredients used in these products and the number of calories one person must eat in each day. Consequently, this approach will not only help general public but also support the bussiness of advertisement individuals by not shutting down their source of earning.

In conclusion, obesity is definitely a serious concern and although advertisement encourage people to eat more of junk food, i believe the best solution to tackle is problem is to make people aware of the food intake they eat each day through commercialism, instad of putting a ban on it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear, qualified position: advertising can influence food choices, but public education is preferable to a ban. The first body paragraph explains how campaigns may affect young people, while the next proposes using advertising to promote healthier choices. These are relevant ideas and the response stays focused on the question. However, the opposing view—that advertising does not contribute significantly to obesity—is not really explained; the essay mainly presents reasons advertising can be harmful before rejecting a ban. Some support is also broad, such as calling pizza and burgers “the culprits of obesity,” without explaining the wider causes or giving a specific example. Develop both sides more evenly and clarify why education would be more effective than restrictions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct purposes, and a conclusion that restates your position. The progression from advertising’s influence to an educational alternative is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “On the one hand,” “For example,” and “Consequently” help guide the reader. This organisation is effective, though some cohesion is mechanical or repetitive: “Therefore” appears twice close together in the first body paragraph, and “this issue” and “this problem” could refer more precisely to the causes of obesity or the role of advertising. The opposing view also receives little development, which makes the argument’s progression less balanced. Use a wider range of natural transitions and clearer references between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “promotional campaigns,” “daily diet,” “healthy diets,” and “calories,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “tackle this issue.” However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “commercialism” does not mean advertising, “aid to the issue” is unnatural, and “the quality of junk food shown” does not clearly express the intended appeal of advertisements. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “advertisments,” “commericial,” “bussiness,” and “instad.” These do not prevent the main message from being understood, but they limit the accuracy and control of the vocabulary. Choose precise terms such as “advertising” and proofread spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a concession in the introduction and a conditional purpose clause in “so they can make good decisions for themselves.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in both sentence structure and agreement. For example, “the advertisments of fast food is” has a plural subject with a singular verb, and “commercial ads doesn't aid” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. In “these individuals reduce … and falls victim,” the verbs do not agree with the plural subject. The final sentence also has an unclear construction in “the best solution to tackle is problem.” Review agreement, articles, and sentence editing, while continuing to practise complex structures; greater accuracy would make your argument easier to read.

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