Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity is the mother of disease and nowadays it is spreading sharply. In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major concern. Sometimes it is argued that junk food advertising has a great influence on this problem and it should be banned, while some people think that junk food advertising plays no role in this problem and it should not be banned. In my opinion, junk food advertisement has a major impact on increasing the number of obese individuals and its advertisement should be controlled.

On one hand, social media has become a major platform for advertisement and everyone use it during their free time for entertainment purposes. However, scrolling through the social media apps, sudden come up of the junk food advertisement creates a sense of cravings. For instance, a person who is using mobile phone during night time and have already finished his dinner but because of the burger advertisement, he again wants to eat something which can be harmful for the health. So this unusual routine of eating junk food can become a cause for obesity.

On the other hand, junk food advertisments do not directly conntribute to the problem of obesity however, its higher consumption does. For example, eating junk food on daily basis especially right before sleeping when you directly go to bed after eating without doing any activity that can utilise your energy, will end up in gaining more weight. So, junk food advertisement is not the only thing to be controlled then we need to have a balanced and controlled diet.

In conclusion, we can mitigate the problem of obesity by exercise and by controlling our diets but our governments should also regulate the unnecessary junk food advertisements that can result in over-eating, which leads to obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear opinion: advertising can encourage overeating, so it should be regulated. The social-media example supports the first view, while the second paragraph recognises that consumption and diet also affect obesity. However, the opposing view is not fully explained: the point that advertising is not the only cause does not clearly show why it should not be banned. Your own position also shifts slightly from saying advertising should be controlled to discussing regulation, without clarifying what form this should take. Develop the counterargument—for example, by explaining the roles of personal choice, activity levels, or other causes—and respond to it directly. The response contains 9 words copied from the task prompt, which are not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. The signposts “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and examples are placed alongside the points they illustrate. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the clearer progression associated with a stronger performance. However, links between ideas can be mechanical, and the second body paragraph moves from advertising to diet without fully explaining the relationship between them. The long example in the first body paragraph also makes the central point less direct. Use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “obesity,” “advertisement,” “cravings,” “consumption,” and “balanced and controlled diet.” Some phrases, such as “major impact” and “regulate,” show an attempt to express the argument beyond basic vocabulary. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “mother of disease” is an unnatural expression, “sudden come up” is unclear, and “advertisments” and “conntribute” are misspelled. Repetition of “junk food advertisement” also makes the writing less flexible. Build a more accurate set of topic collocations and check spelling, while choosing expressions that convey your intended meaning directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “while” and a conditional example beginning “when.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “everyone use it” needs subject–verb agreement, and “a person … have already finished” does not maintain agreement with its subject. The sentence beginning “For instance” also contains several clauses joined in a way that makes the structure difficult to control. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas with subordinate clauses. Check agreement and verb forms carefully, and use punctuation to separate the stages of longer examples.

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