Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity is considered a big issue in many societies. Some people blame junk food advertisments for this issue and think they should be completely banned. Others believe that these promotions donot have a major effect on society, and should be displayed. I think that display of unhealthy food over the screens to some extent, does influence the people, especially youngsters to buy these items. However, complete ban of these isnot the solution.

Some sections of society think that the reason people are obese these days is because the food,that is not advantageous for health is shown over the screens.This might be because they think that in the past, people were less unhealthy, because there was not much media and promotion. Nowadays, there is heavy advertisment, which promotes sensationalism and influences the people to buy junk food, especially when they see their favourite celebrity promoting it. For example many popular fast food chains such as mcdonalds make entertaining advertisments with famous people to catch the attention of audience. Recently there was a trend by mcdonalds of grimace cartoon characters named shake, which made people buy shakes and they got a free grimace toy with it.

Certain school of thought thinks that these commercials are not the problem. I agree with this statement because I think that obesity has many other reasons than this. Because other than junkfood there are many other publicities we can see over the media, but that doesnot mean that we get coerced or influenced by every thing we see over the internet. Individuals should have self control and discipline. For instance, in todays world of broadcasting, a lot of people follow the positive things being shown over their screens, like fitness programmes and shows. It depends on the person's mindset on what they want to follow from social media and what not.

In conclusion, in todays world, there is promotion and commercials for so many things, both healthy and unhealthy for human beings. So, it depends on the person what they want to follow and adopt into their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both views and give a clear personal position: advertising can influence people, particularly young people, but a complete ban is not the answer. The examples of celebrity promotions and the Grimace shake campaign make the argument about advertising relevant and concrete. You also explain that obesity has multiple causes and that individuals make choices. However, the opposing view is developed more fully than the case for not banning advertising, which relies mainly on self-control and fitness content. The conclusion restates your position but does not add a clear reason or practical implication. To strengthen the response, explain more directly why advertising should remain permitted, while acknowledging how its influence could be limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This makes the discussion easy to follow, and phrases such as “For example” help introduce supporting detail. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The second body paragraph begins “Certain school of thought thinks,” but the relationship between that view and your own agreement could be signposted more precisely. The sentence beginning “Because other than junkfood…” is also awkwardly connected to the preceding claim. In the conclusion, “So, it depends on the person” repeats the individual-choice point without synthesising the two sides. Use clearer transitions and make each paragraph’s central claim and supporting explanation connect more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “celebrity,” “self control,” and “fitness programmes,” and the examples show an ability to discuss media influence. Some less common choices, such as “sensationalism” and “coerced,” are attempts to express specific ideas, though they do not always fit the context naturally. There are also repeated general expressions such as “over the screens,” “things,” and “people,” which limit precision. Spelling and word-form errors—including “advertisments,” “donot,” and “junkfood”—also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms, such as “advertisements on television and social media” or “consumer choices,” and check spelling and spacing carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “especially when,” so the response is not limited to short statements. Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Some sections of society think that the reason … is because” creates an awkward construction, while “It depends on the person's mindset on what they want to follow” has an unclear clause pattern. There are also punctuation and sentence-boundary problems, such as the comma after “For example” being omitted and the long sentence beginning “Nowadays, there is heavy advertisment.” Review clause structure, comma use, and agreement, and revise sentences aloud to check that each relationship between ideas is grammatically clear.

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