Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity is increasing day by day and has become a major concern in a few societies. For this reason, some people argue that advertisements related to junk food are mostly responsible for this problem and therefore, junk food should be banned. On the contrary, the remaining individuals believe that promotions donot have any influence on obesity and that is why, it should not be banned. From my perspective, it is true that junk food contributes to create obesity but obesity is not largely dependent on it, rather there are many other accute reasons behind this issue.

Individuals, especially, young generations get to know about junk food from different attractive advertisements. Furthermore, the promotional contents of junk food are designed in such a way so that it can draw the attention of the viewers. Due to the advertisements, people crave for junk food and excessive use of this kind of food can lead to obesity. For instance, celebrities promote first food for their own interest. By contrast, audiences crave to try that product which may be become detrimental for their health. Aside from this, children are not familiar with the filtered version of the promotinal contents and for this reason, they struggle to dfferentiate between good and bad things.

However, junk food is not only responsible for obesity. Increasing academic pressure, official pressure and excessive use of digital devices, such as, mobile phone, laptop etc. play significant role in creating obesity. Furthermore, individuals no longer find enjoyment in their work due to the unbearable pressure and students fail to cut a good figure in the examination. To add more, some multinational companies fix meetings round the clock, which hampers their sleeping cycle. Because of sleeping shortage, they suffer from obesity in the long run. For example, some studies found that, people who struggle with their academic and official life, are more tend to suffer from obesity.

In conlusion, junk food is also responsible for obesity among people but it is not soledy responsible for this problem. There are some other reasons behind this and therefore, junk foods should not be baneed rather there should be a balance in the consumption of fast food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear position: advertising can contribute to obesity, but it is not the main cause, so a ban is not justified. The first body paragraph explains how appealing promotions may encourage cravings, while the second offers other possible causes, including inactivity and disrupted sleep. These points are relevant, but some are not fully explained or convincingly connected to obesity. For example, the discussion of examination performance and round-the-clock meetings is difficult to follow as evidence, and the reference to “some studies” is too general to support the claim. Develop fewer examples more clearly, and explain how each factor affects eating habits or physical activity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the second body paragraph, the move from work pressure to students’ examination performance and then to sleep disruption does not form a consistently clear chain of reasoning. Some references, such as “it” in the introduction, are also not fully clear. Use transitions to show the precise relationship between ideas, and organise each paragraph around one main point with supporting explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “promotional contents,” “excessive use,” “detrimental,” and “sleeping cycle.” These choices show an attempt to discuss causes and consequences beyond basic terms. However, several inaccurate word choices and spelling errors reduce precision, including “first food” for fast food, “accute,” “promotinal,” “dfferentiate,” “conlusion,” “soledy,” and “baneed.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “cut a good figure in the examination” and “remaining individuals.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument easier to understand and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “that,” and most sentences communicate their main meaning. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “promotional contents … so that it can draw” has a plural subject with a singular pronoun, while “play significant role” needs an article. In “people … are more tend to suffer,” the comparative construction is not grammatical. Punctuation around introductory phrases and examples is also sometimes awkward. Review subject–verb agreement and article use, and check that each complex sentence has a clear, correctly formed main clause.

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