Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies, an increasing number of individuals are suffering from obesity. It is argued by some that the main problem behind this issue is fast food advertising and it should be prohibited, while others believe that there are other problems and advertising does not influence people to consume junk food. I believe that advertising influence people to buy more unhealthy products and should be restricted.

One the one hand, one of the vital issues why people purchase unhealthy products is that companies are presenting attractive ads on TV. Individuals are often influenced by these kinds of advertisements and they consume more processed food. To illustrate, when a newly opened restaurant presents their delicious items in ads with discounts, cosumers are willing to buy these items to get the offer. As a result, they consume those fast foods quite frequently, which result in obesity and other kinds of health issues such as heart attack and diabetes. Thus, I believe advertising play a vital part to promote fast food among customers and should be banned to alleviate the trend.

On the other hand, some people are addicted to junk food because they are accustomed to these kinds of products. By eating burger, they develop a certain habit which is detrimental to their health as well. For instance, when I was a child, I used to eat a lot of pizza and could not resist the urge to consume more. Here, advertising did not persuade me to purchase more fast food. However, it does not mean that other children will not be influenced by advertising because an increasing number of young people are watching television programs nowadays and they can be persuaded effortlessly. Therefore, I disagree with the view that advertising should not be banned.

In conclusion, although people's eating habit can contribute to obesity in certain extent, I believe advertising should be restricted because they often play a major role to influence society.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear position: advertising can influence consumption and should be restricted. The first body paragraph explains how appealing promotions may encourage frequent purchases, while the second acknowledges that habits can develop independently of advertising. These points are relevant, but they are not equally developed. The personal example about eating pizza illustrates habit formation, yet the opposing view—that advertising does not contribute to obesity—is not explored in depth before you reject it. The link from advertising to obesity is also asserted rather than supported with broader evidence or a more detailed explanation. To strengthen the response, explain the strongest argument for not banning advertising, then compare its limits with the influence of marketing and develop your supporting examples more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have a central focus, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical, and the progression within the second body paragraph is not fully smooth: the personal example first supports the claim that habits can form without advertising, but the paragraph then shifts to children being influenced by television. The conclusion repeats the position without drawing together the two arguments. Use clearer links to show how each example supports the paragraph’s point, and make references such as “they” in the conclusion more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “processed food,” “advertisements,” “obesity,” “detrimental” and “influence.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “the main problem behind this issue,” “presenting attractive ads” and “advertising play a vital part.” There are also spelling errors, including “cosumers,” and repeated use of “fast food” and “advertising” limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary key terms where appropriate—for example, “marketing campaigns” or “promotional offers.” Proofreading spelling and checking whether nouns and verbs combine naturally would make the vocabulary more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning “when” and “because,” and most sentences communicate the intended meaning. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement and articles. For example, “advertising influence people” should be “advertising influences people,” and “advertising play a vital part” should be “advertising plays a vital part.” Other examples include “One the one hand” (missing “On”) and “By eating burger,” which needs an article or plural form. In “which result in obesity,” the verb should agree with the preceding idea. Review agreement, articles and sentence-level proofreading while continuing to practise complex structures; these corrections will improve accuracy without sacrificing range.

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