Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

obesity is a major problem in some societies but also individually.It can cause serious health issue.Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame and should be banned,while others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Firstly,i disagree, with the fact that the major problem for obesity is junk food advertisment.For some people it is easy to blame on other things,while ignoring the major factor for obesity.The major problem for obesity are individual diet,excercise and other health related issue like suffering from depression,a patient on medication.

however,i strongly disagree, with other people that kunk food advertisment does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.In America junk food is a major problem for obesity.Junk food is extremely unhealthy and a big amount of sugar is add in it.Sugar helps in obesity.Moreover lack of excercise,proper sleep and junk food can add more in obesity.

However,i strongly believe that junk food advertisment plays a major role in the problem of obesity,but excercise and other health problem can also be not ignored.People should keep junk food taking habits in limit and focus on excercise because obesity can cause some life threatening issues.

At the end of the picture,Obesity is a serious and real modern day problem people facing today.People should focus on their habits rather than blaming.However junk food is not only the problem for obesity.Excercise and other health related issue can also play a major role in obesity.So banning or not banning is not the solution for controlling obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic and give a position: you argue that advertising contributes to obesity, while also noting that diet, exercise and health conditions matter. However, the discussion of the two views is uneven and partly unclear. The opening says “Firstly, I disagree” with advertising being the major cause, but later you “strongly believe” advertising plays a major role; this makes your position difficult to follow. The opposing view is mentioned, but its reasoning is not explained or supported with an example or evidence. Your response contains 223 words, so it is 27 words below the required minimum; the 43 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop each side more fully and state a consistent opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, discussion paragraphs and a conclusion, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “However” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the position changes: you first disagree that advertising is a major cause, then say it plays a major role. “However” is also repeated at the start of several paragraphs without always marking a clear contrast. Some ideas are placed together without explaining their relationship, such as depression, medication, exercise and diet. Organise the essay around the two views, then give your own position in a separate, consistent conclusion. Use clearer links between claims and explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “obesity,” “junk food,” “advertising,” “unhealthy” and “life-threatening issues.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings reduce precision, such as “health related issue,” “a big amount of sugar” and “junk food taking habits.” Repetition of “major problem” and “obesity” also makes the response less varied. Aim for more accurate collocations and a few precise terms, for example “excessive sugar content,” “consumption habits” and “contribute to weight gain.” Check spelling carefully, particularly “advertisement,” “exercise” and “added,” so the reader can focus on your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “Moreover lack of exercise, proper sleep and junk food can add more in obesity.” The meaning is generally recoverable, but the range of sentence structures is limited, and frequent errors affect accuracy. Examples include missing articles and plural forms in “serious health issue” and “other health related issue,” and subject–verb agreement in “The major problem … are.” Commas are also misplaced in phrases such as “Firstly, I disagree, with the fact,” while sentence openings and “I” are inconsistently capitalised. Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear clauses, and check articles, agreement and punctuation when editing.

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