Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Introduction:

The following paragraph tells me about the both trends of obesity in all over the society.

Overview:

In this era, most of the people like fast or natural food according to their taste and choice. But in my point of view having fast food with palenty is dangers to health. Becuse the fast food have less nutrients and energy and it affect our stomach heavily. On the other hand, eating fresh food with great deal is a blessing on the stomach. Stomach becomes fresh and cold after having a natural food and it did not causes any issue like obesity or hotness or failure of your body.

Junk Food Impacts:

If you eat a palenty of junk food in a single day or day after before you can cause serious illness. And it also cause a obesity and that disease most of the people don't like also they save he is not fit or he is dull and weak person. So, this is very important to look well in your society you are fully fit also mentally and physically. It can cause also other diseases, like hotness in chest that most of the people suffers currently. And by eating oily foods and fast like KFC products although these all are looks well and beautiful but they can cause serious illness after having more and more. So, be avoid from junk foods.

Advertising:

Most of the people eats fast food likely and they appreciate others to eat becuse they refresh the body at instant. And most of the people who don't like greeny or natural food they also want to eat junk food to amuse themselves. So, they don't suffer serious illness or disease so they easily eat and joy it. And in their oponoins junks are not dangeres to health so they advertise this role in the society.

My Oponoin:

In my oponion if a person eats a junk food and it effects so they no need to eat and it's a best way to they eat simple and natural food and they no need to say that the junk food is not good. On the other side, If a person eats junk food only and he is not affected it so he is a God gifted person and he is willing to eats so he must carry on.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response touches on obesity, junk food and advertising, and it gives a personal view that natural food is preferable. However, it responds only minimally to the central instruction to discuss both views about whether advertising contributes to obesity and should be banned. The “Advertising” paragraph says people promote fast food because they enjoy it, but does not explain the argument that advertising can encourage unhealthy choices or why it should be prohibited. The opposing view—that advertising does not cause obesity and should remain legal—is also not clearly developed. The final opinion is conditional on whether an individual experiences harm, rather than a clear position on advertising policy. Address both sides directly, then support a consistent conclusion with relevant reasons or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is divided into labelled sections, including “Junk Food Impacts,” “Advertising,” and “My Oponoin,” so the reader can identify broad topics. It also uses basic transitions such as “On the other hand” and “So.” However, the ideas are not arranged in a coherent argument: the opening labels do not establish a clear introduction or overview, and the discussion moves between food preferences, health effects, social judgement and advertising without showing how these points connect to the question. Some links are unclear, particularly the shift from people enjoying fast food to the claim that they do not suffer illness. Organise the essay around the two opposing views, use each paragraph to develop one main point, and connect examples explicitly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “nutrients,” “advertise,” “diseases,” and “natural food.” These words make the general subject understandable, but vocabulary is often repetitive and imprecise, and several choices strain the reader. For example, “hotness in chest,” “greeny,” and “refresh the body at instant” do not express the intended health or advertising ideas clearly. Spelling and word-form errors such as “palenty,” “oponoins,” and “dangeres” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing advertising and public health, such as “promote high-calorie products” and “influence consumers’ choices,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to combine ideas using clauses and conditionals, for example, “If you eat a palenty of junk food…” and “if a person eats a junk food and it effects…”. However, sentence structures are mostly simple or faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “most of the people eats,” “the fast food have,” and “it did not causes.” The final paragraph also contains a difficult-to-follow conditional sequence: “if a person eats a junk food and it effects so they no need to eat.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete clause patterns first, then use a few controlled complex sentences to explain cause and contrast. Check punctuation and sentence boundaries as well.

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