Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Surge in obesity rates has sparked a debate among individuals some believe that it is because of junk food advertisement and it should be made illegal. Others say junk food advertisement has nothing to do with obesity ,and it should not be banned.From my point of view both are partly correct.I believe that advertisement has a negative effect on people's choices ,but blaming advertisement entirely is a blunder.Adding to it,completing banning junk food advertisements can cause panic among people.Many families rely on them to fuel thier houes.

Increase in obesity has made people to think of its causes.Many blame fast food advertisements as they encourage individuals to eat it.Though heavy food marketing has a little role in it.Saying that it is only thing contributing to obesity in people wiil only create more issues.This will shift our attention away from valuable and precise reasons ,such as lack health campaigns.Health campaigns can help people to hift to healthy food.Increased prices of healthy foods is also great contributor to it.Thus banning advertisements may provide temporary and very small benefit.It will not eradicate this major health concern.

However,to assume that there is no contribution of fast food advertisements in risen obesity rates is wrong. Many people rely on advertisements to make a choice, on top of that modern technology has made it eassy for restaurants to influnce the mind of individuals

I believe local governments should play their role here. Governments should provide locals easy access to parks where they can exercise.They should also lower the ptices, of healthy foods to attract individuals toward it.

in conclusion,junk food advertisements do have a bit contribution to obesity among individuals,but completely blaming it is inappropriate.There are many other major things that are contributing to it such as,lack of parks,health campaigns and etc.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear personal position: advertising can influence choices, but it is not the sole cause of obesity. You also offer relevant alternatives, including limited health campaigns, the cost of healthy food, and access to parks. This covers the main parts of the task. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the argument that advertising contributes to obesity is brief, and the claim that banning it could cause “panic” or affect families is not clearly explained. To strengthen the response, explain how advertising shapes eating habits and support each main point with a specific example or clearer reasoning. Your conclusion restates your view, though it could draw the discussion together more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has an overall structure, moving from your position to arguments against a ban, then to the opposing view, possible government action, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “However” and “In conclusion” guide the reader. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Adding to it” does not clearly show how the point about families follows, and “Though heavy food marketing has a little role in it” is not smoothly connected to the preceding sentence. The paragraph about advertising’s influence is also very short and could be integrated with fuller explanation. Use clearer references and transitions, and organise related causes and solutions together to make the progression more consistent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-specific and less common vocabulary, including “obesity rates,” “valuable and precise reasons,” “eradicate,” and “contributing.” This gives you a basis for discussing causes and solutions. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “advertisement,” “contribution,” and “individuals,” while several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “fuel their houses,” “heavy food marketing,” and “risen obesity rates.” Spelling errors, including “thier,” “eassy,” and “influnce,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise phrases such as “food advertising,” “influence consumers’ choices,” and “the rising prevalence of obesity,” and check spelling carefully. Greater variety and more natural collocations would make your arguments easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “but” and a reason introduced by “as.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some sentence structures and punctuation are inaccurate. The opening is a run-on sentence joining several ideas without clear punctuation, and “Though heavy food marketing has a little role in it” is an incomplete clause. There are also errors in articles and sentence construction, as in “lack health campaigns” and “Governments should provide locals easy access to parks.” Capitalisation and spacing around punctuation are inconsistent, particularly at the start of the conclusion. Practise separating long sentences, completing subordinate clauses, and checking articles and prepositions. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.

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