Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Obesity has become a crucial challenge for being healthy in many countries. Many individuals contend that junk food advertisements are the main key factors of proliferation of these foods, so advertising of junk food should be banned. However, others believe that there is no relationship with the advertising of junk foods and obesity. This essay will discuss both views and describe from my perspective why I believe that advertisements should not be banned.

Initially, banning advertisement will create more curisity on these foods among individuals. Therefore, if we banned these advertisements residents especially juveniles would grow more interest in these items. Researcher contend that people has more interest in banned products. So, this action is not enable to pull behind the citizens from its detrimental effects. Consequently, this action cannot reduce the amount of obesity.

Secondly, advertisement of junk foods is not the major key factor of obesity. There are other factors like sedentary life style, less physical activities, more screen time, depression and anxiety, which are exacerbating this physical condition. To eliminate obesity we should focus on addressing the root causes. Without addressing the root causes, only advertisement banning cannot bring the result.

In conclusion, to fight with obesity, we must lead a healthy life with balanced meal and regular physical activities. Campaigning and awareness build up programs in school clolleges also can be beneficial to reduce this major issue. Banning advertisements of junk foods cannot be a solution for treating obesity, so it should not be banned, as it cannot bring any good results, despite increasing curisity on these harmful food items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that junk-food advertising should not be banned, and you give relevant reasons, including other contributors to obesity such as inactivity and screen time. You also address the opposing view indirectly by suggesting a ban could increase curiosity. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the argument that advertising is a major cause is not explained fairly or in enough detail; the essay moves quickly to rebutting it. The claim that people become more interested in banned products also needs a specific example or supporting explanation. Your conclusion offers practical alternatives, such as school awareness campaigns, but these are not developed in the main discussion. Develop each side more evenly and support key claims with clearer examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from the curiosity argument to other causes of obesity is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Initially,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help the reader identify each stage. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some stronger control through paragraphing and a consistent central position. However, the first body paragraph does not clearly establish the opposing view before responding to it, and links such as “Therefore” and “Consequently” sometimes make the reasoning feel mechanical rather than fully developed. The conclusion introduces school campaigns without a clear link to the preceding paragraphs. Use more precise referencing and build each paragraph around one fully explained point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “sedentary lifestyle,” “physical activities,” “root causes,” and “detrimental effects.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or awkward: “main key factors of proliferation,” “pull behind the citizens,” and “awareness build up programs” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “curisity” and “clolleges,” and repeated use of “action” and “obesity” limits variety. These issues do not prevent understanding, but more precise, natural phrasing would improve clarity. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for discussing causes, prevention and public health.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if we banned these advertisements” and a relative clause in “factors … which are exacerbating this physical condition.” The overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement and sentence construction: “people has more interest” should use a plural verb, while “this action is not enable” has an incorrect verb pattern. There are also problems with articles and number, as in “banning advertisement” and “balanced meal,” and the opening phrase “challenge for being healthy” is not grammatically well formed. Work on subject–verb agreement, countable nouns and verb patterns, then proofread each sentence for a complete, natural structure. Greater accuracy in these areas would strengthen your range.

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