Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

To begin with , there are several reasons why this societies problem is important in there daily life . The main reasons is that ate the junk food can have dircet people on society . Many people face this issue in their daily lives , it can influence their lifestyle in different way . For example it may affect Pizza , Zingar burger , Pasta , and other resturant . In addition , young people and families eating the food visiting the resturant and eating the junk foods health is not stable . The important point is that junk food advertising the pakistani actor permoting the poor resturant adds but other resturants benefit can have both positive and negative effects . It mainly depends on how peple use the foods point and how they deal with the situation .

Moreover , some possible way to improve the situation . In my opnion , the government institute food authority all pakistan check the resturant . They will goes the improvement all the resturant others people secure the health situation . Goverment should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . The government institute checking the foods point and different area can also important role by providing guidance and support . For instance , simple rules and better awareness and help people make the better choices the different food point .

In conclusion , poor food is important issue that should not be ignored . If people's and society which clean ate the food , the negative effects can be reduced and improve the situations .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response recognises that junk food and obesity are connected and offers a view that government food checks and guidance could help. However, it does not adequately discuss both positions in the question: the case for banning advertising is not explained, and the opposing view that advertising does not cause obesity is also not clearly presented. The statement that advertising can have “both positive and negative effects” is too vague to establish either argument. The essay also shifts towards restaurant inspections and food safety rather than explaining how advertising affects eating habits or whether a ban is justified. To strengthen the response, state your position clearly and develop each side with relevant reasons and a specific example before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an opening discussion, a paragraph beginning “Moreover,” and a conclusion signalled by “In conclusion.” These markers help the reader recognise the broad stages of the response. However, the ideas within paragraphs do not progress clearly: the first paragraph moves from obesity to restaurants, actors in advertisements, and possible positive and negative effects without explaining the links. The second paragraph proposes government checks but does not connect them explicitly to the advertising debate. Some linking phrases, such as “In addition” and “For instance,” introduce points that remain unclear or unsupported. Organise the essay around the two views, use each paragraph to develop one main idea, and make references between sentences explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts topic-related vocabulary, including “junk food advertising,” “obesity,” “government,” “guidance,” and “negative effects,” so the reader can identify the general subject. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “food authority” and “responsible decisions.” However, word choice and spelling are often inaccurate or unclear, as in “dircet people on society,” “poor resturant adds,” and “foods point.” Repetition of “resturant,” “food,” and “situation” also limits precision, while some phrases do not communicate a clear meaning. Build a more reliable set of collocations for this topic, such as “advertising influences food choices,” “promote unhealthy products,” and “obesity rates,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response uses some simple sentence patterns and attempts to connect ideas with clauses, for example, “If people's and society which clean ate the food, the negative effects can be reduced.” This shows an effort to express cause and result, but the clause is not grammatically controlled. Errors in sentence structure, agreement, and verb forms occur throughout, including “The main reasons is,” “they will goes,” and “some possible way to improve the situation.” Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent, as in “the junk food” and “different way.” These problems frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with clear subjects and correctly formed verbs; proofread agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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