Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Obesity is the accumulation of fat in the body . Obesity happens when the large amount of fat has not broken down by our body . Obesity could become cause to several diseases like high blood pressure , high cholesterol levels etc . However , some time having a fat body becomes social norm . People thinks obesity is root to many diseases . Therefore , some also donot like it . There are several causes of obesity like donot having exercise on regular basis and eating junk food . Sometimes several other things also influence a person to eat unhealthy and ads are one of them . Some peole also believes that promoting junk or unhealthy food in ads should be banned . Because , it influences a person to eat unhealty with could later cause problems like high cholestrol and obesity . But on the other hand , Some people believes that promoting such things ads have no impact on human brain and it does not seeuce anyone to eat unhealty . They thinks that at last this is persons own will to eat junk food or donot maintain there body . But i thinks that promoting such thing on mass level do have inpact on our life . For Example in early centuries major companies like cocacola started to promote thier soda insanely. People started to know about it and started to drink it which result in large amount of daibates cases . To sum up , I think we should not promote such things that can have bad influence on persons health at mass level .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a clear personal position near the end: you argue that advertising unhealthy food should not be promoted because it can influence people’s choices. The example of Coca-Cola promotion also supports your view. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The argument against a ban is reduced mainly to the claim that eating is a person’s own choice, without explaining why advertising might have little effect or why a ban could be undesirable. The opening definition and list of health risks take space without directly advancing the debate. Develop each side with a specific reason and a relevant example, then make your conclusion follow clearly from that comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response begins with background, moves to the two views, and ends with your opinion. Linking expressions such as “However,” “on the other hand,” and “To sum up” help signal changes in direction. Nevertheless, the overall progression is not consistently clear because several different points are crowded into one paragraph, and the opening moves from a definition to social attitudes and causes without a clear connection. Some links are also awkward or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “some people believes.” Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion. Make each paragraph develop one main idea, and use pronouns and transitions that clearly show how the ideas relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “junk food,” “high blood pressure,” “advertising,” and “influence,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “the large amount of fat has not broken down” and “promoting such things ads” are not natural expressions, while “social norm” is not clearly connected to the point being made. Spelling errors such as “unhealty,” “cholestrol,” and “daibates” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing advertising, consumer choices, and public health, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure in “Because, it influences a person to eat unhealthy with could later cause problems.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “People thinks,” “some people believes,” “Obesity could become cause,” and “which result in large amount.” Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces before commas and full stops and a sentence beginning with “Because” that is not properly connected to the previous idea. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences from clear, correctly linked clauses.

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