Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern time, people should be more careful about their health for that they need to maintain their diet. In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major cause, whereas some individuals think that junk food adversting is largely to blame of this problem and that should be banned, while others believed that junk food adversting does not occures any obesity issue. In this essay will discuss some major benfit of adversting of junk food and there has been few drawbacks in this trend.

On the one hand, the major benefit of junk food adversting is people get aware about what food trend is going on and how people addicted about junk food. Nowadays, there are many people who follow th diet chart of their meal, although they are very concious about their health so they prefer to take every ingredents in measured amount. For instance, those who intsake fast food in twice or thrice in a month for them it should not be affect about advertising because they have self control. Moreover, adversiting of junk is only part to attarct the communities towards them, but it only depend on public how they react of that adversite, however, some people have genetic problem about obesity, so if they do not eat outside food then also their body enters to the obesity due to eccessive amount of food consumed by them.

On the other hand, the drawbacks of fast food in socialising network is children are very much attractive regarding fast food. Furthermore, childrens are eating so much outside food which is harmful for growing age, due to that reason they need to suffer from obesity in future. For example, after watching a advertise of burger in the age of 6 - 7, parents taking them to try specific dish which was good for the first time, but it can be become them offesnive about burger and they start consuimg two to three times a week which is welcoming of obesity. Therefore, some advertise should be restricted from certain age group of people which may help to reduce obesity problem.

In conclusion, I strongly belived that banned the junk food advertise is not better option, but they should restricted from children because they are offensive about outside food, while adults are much aware about health cause and they are not influence by any ads due to self control.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear personal position: you argue that advertising should not be banned altogether, but should be restricted for children. The discussion of children being influenced by burger advertisements is relevant, and the example helps explain your concern. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The first body paragraph focuses on consumer self-control and genetic causes rather than fully explaining why advertising may not contribute to obesity; the claim that people become aware of food trends is also unclear. The opposing view is more directly connected to the question. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how advertising affects eating choices and support each side with a clear, relevant example. The response contains 9 words copied from the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion that restates your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the overall direction. However, some links are mechanical or do not show the relationship between ideas clearly. For example, “Moreover” introduces a point about public self-control, while “however” then shifts to genetic causes without explaining how the ideas connect. Several sentences also contain multiple points, making the progression harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and divide complex explanations into shorter units; make sure each linking word accurately signals whether you are adding, contrasting, or explaining an idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self control,” “genetic problem,” “measured amount,” and “restricted,” and the reader can generally identify your main meaning. However, spelling, word forms, and collocations are noticeably inaccurate, which sometimes makes ideas difficult to interpret. Examples include “adversting,” “concious,” “intsake,” and “offesnive,” as well as phrases such as “drawbacks of fast food in socialising network” and “welcoming of obesity.” Some repeated or imprecise wording, including “outside food,” also limits clarity. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and natural combinations of words. More precise expressions such as “fast-food advertising,” “influence children’s choices,” and “increase the risk of obesity” would help communicate your points effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “although,” “because,” and “which.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, there are some recurring errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “In this essay will discuss” lacks a subject, “some people … believed” shifts tense unnecessarily, and “it can be become them” has an incorrect verb pattern. In “children are very much attractive,” the adjective construction is also faulty. Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, especially in longer sentences. Breaking some sentences into shorter, grammatically controlled statements would improve accuracy without removing complexity.

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