Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely responsible for obesity and the believe advertising should be banned. However others thinks that junk food advertising is not responsible for obesity and should not be banned. In my opinion advertising can largely influence the junk food consumption and believe that it should be banned.

In modern world obesity become serious threat for health of people. With the tight schedule people have, they tend to use instant foods instead of healthy foods. These instant foods often called as junk foods because of their nutritional value. As a result of daily intake of these junk foods people become more unhealthier. Advertising influensing people to use these junk foods. Advertising mainly responsible for the promotion of these junks foods. Without advertising people have no idea of the price and portion of the junk foods. Mainly due to advertising people attract for thse junk foods. As a result ultimately helath experts think advertising should be limited or banned.

On the other hand some people think that junk food advertising has not effect to the fast food consumption of the people.They think that it may be their own choice to each such kind of foods. People have to make their own decision about the food they consume. Therefore, they cant blame to the advertising for the health problems such as obesity.

In conclusion, although some people thinks that advertising does not has an effect for junk food consumption, i believe that advertising influence people to consume junk foods and it can be largely responsible for the obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear opinion that advertising should be banned and include both views, so the response is relevant to the task. The argument that advertising promotes junk-food consumption is supported by points about busy schedules, instant food and people being attracted to advertised products. However, the opposing view is only briefly explained as personal choice, with little development or example, and the link between advertising and obesity is asserted rather than demonstrated. The claim that people would have “no idea of the price and portion” without advertising is also unclear and not fully convincing. To strengthen the response, explain how advertising affects particular groups or choices, develop the counterargument more fully, and support the conclusion with a clearer comparison of the two positions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting the ban, a paragraph presenting the opposing view, and a conclusion. This makes the overall direction understandable, and transitions such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal changes in focus. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive: several sentences repeat that advertising promotes or attracts people to junk food without adding a distinct step to the argument. Some links between ideas are abrupt, and references such as “these junk foods” and “it” are not always precise. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph a clear sequence of claim, explanation and example, and use linking expressions selectively rather than repeating the same point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “nutritional value,” “consumption,” “promotion” and “health problems,” which allows the reader to follow the main argument. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make the writing less natural, such as “instant foods,” “attract for,” “responsible for the promotion of these junks foods,” and “helath experts.” Repetition of “junk foods,” “advertising” and “people” also restricts precision. Build a more varied set of accurate expressions for discussing marketing and health, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, use “processed convenience foods” where appropriate and “are attracted to” rather than “attract for.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive opening and a cause-and-effect sentence beginning “As a result.” Nevertheless, errors occur frequently and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “the believe,” “others thinks,” “obesity become,” “people become more unhealthier,” and “some people thinks.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, verb forms and sentence construction, as in “it may be their own choice to each such kind of foods.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including the lowercase “i” and missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence patterns first, then add complex clauses while checking each sentence for agreement, articles and punctuation.

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