Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The term "obesity" refers to the person who's body mass index (BMI) is more than 25. In modern world obese can significantly affect human health. Many people get serious illness including diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiac arrest and so on due to gaining overweight and accumulating fat in their body. There are several factors associated to become obese like taking improper diet, less exercise, and unhealthy processed food. Among those people, many of them get influenced by the taste of junk food.

However, several fast food resturaunt usually get attracted by the people who's often young and middle aged when they have seen attractive advertisement on their social platform. It is highly organized, ready-made and the amount of food package take their attention. Thus, they just get ordered it without concern.

On the other hand, Fancy food advertisement is not solely parameter for getting obesity. Several individuals consume foods but they don't take exercise. As a result, their digestion get imbalance and many of the carbohydrate and others source of elements get accumulated as glycogen beneath their skin and turns into fat. It creates the major facts about obesity rather advertising fast food.

In my opinion, I believe obesity not only caused by the display of the junk food rather it caused by improper diet and exercise. Diet should be balanced as well as doing physical activities so that avoiding overweight.

Therefore, proper awareness, and control measures like gym, excercise, healthy diet should be taken consideration to overcome this constrains.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the topic and give a clear personal view that obesity has several causes, particularly diet and exercise, rather than advertising alone. You also refer to both sides: advertising can attract people to fast food, while lack of exercise and diet are presented as other causes. However, the discussion of the view against banning advertising is more developed than the case for banning it, and neither side is supported with a specific example or convincing evidence. The opening definition of obesity is also inaccurate: a BMI above 25 is generally classed as overweight, not necessarily obese. To strengthen the response, explain why advertising may influence food choices and why others consider personal habits more important, then support each point with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, discussion of advertising, an alternative explanation, your opinion, and a concluding recommendation. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and transitions such as “However,” “On the other hand,” and “In my opinion” signal changes in direction. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, though. For example, “Among those people” does not clearly identify who is meant, and “Thus, they just get ordered it” makes the link between advertising and purchasing difficult to follow. The final paragraph also repeats the recommendation about diet and exercise rather than clearly summarising the argument. Use clearer references and make each paragraph develop one distinct point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “BMI,” “high blood pressure,” “processed food,” and “physical activities,” so the reader can understand the subject and your main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “accumulating fat” and “balanced” diet. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making meaning unclear: “Fancy food advertisement,” “the major facts about obesity,” and “overcome this constrains” do not express the intended ideas precisely. Spelling errors such as “resturaunt” and “excercise” also reduce accuracy. Build a reliable set of collocations for discussing causes and policy, and check spelling and word forms. More precise phrasing would make your argument easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect structure with “As a result” and a relative clause in “people who's often young and middle aged.” However, control is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “obese can significantly affect human health,” “Many people get serious illness,” and “their digestion get imbalance,” where sentence structure, agreement, or verb forms are faulty. The sentence beginning “The term ‘obesity’ refers to the person” also has an unclear grammatical relationship between the term and its definition. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and complete sentence patterns before adding more complex clauses. Proofreading each sentence for a clear subject and verb would improve readability.

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