Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many parts of the world,obesity has becoming increasingly common.Some people believes that marketing on junk food is largely criticize for this problem and should be prohibited.But, others think that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of fatness and should not be banned.

I will disscus both the views and states my opinion in the end of this essay.

On the one hand,one major cause of this problem is that consuming of excessive calories without any proper physical exercise to the body can leads to obesity.The main theme of the advertising these products is to get the profits not to take them heavily .

The person food habits and lifestyle will decide the weight of the body not on the things what we are eat.So there is no necessity to banned the advertisements.

On the another hand, marketing companies need to be provide right nutrition facts and adding more edible oil, sodium,and added sugars to the public will come know what they are eating marketing should be appropriate way with causing any health issues to the public in some wrong advertising can triggers the on healthy life.

For instance,in the recent era majority of the school children and undergraduates are are undergoing with the illness due to lack of physical activities and consumption of carbohydrates is leading to diabetes and overweight and sonye young girls are facing with PCOD,PCOS in their life.

In conclusion,if we are in good control on our diet so there is no problems with the

any overweight or chronic diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both positions and give a personal view, but the discussion is only minimally developed. The first side is supported by the point that diet and exercise affect weight, while the second mentions nutrition information and health risks; however, the argument about advertising itself is not clearly explained, and the example about students’ illnesses does not show how advertising causes them. Your conclusion focuses on personal diet control rather than clearly restating your view on whether advertising should be banned. The response is also 4 words below the required minimum, with 11 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count. Develop each side with a clear reason and a relevant example, then state your position directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic essay shape, with an introduction, two body sections signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the another hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers recognise the intended structure. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear logical links. For example, the paragraph about marketing moves from nutrition facts to oil, sodium and sugar, then to “wrong advertising” without explaining the connection. The example paragraph is also not clearly linked to either side of the debate. Use one main claim per paragraph, explain it, and connect examples explicitly to that claim; clearer referencing would also help readers follow your reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “physical exercise,” “nutrition facts,” and “chronic diseases,” so the subject is generally recognisable. There is also an attempt to use more specific terms such as “sodium” and “undergraduates.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make meaning harder to understand: “marketing … is largely criticize,” “the person food habits,” and “on healthy life” do not express the intended ideas clearly. Spelling errors such as “disscus” and “sonye” also reduce accuracy. Build a reliable set of collocations for discussing causes, responsibility and regulation, and check word forms and spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect structure beginning “if we are in good control on our diet.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “obesity has becoming,” “Some people believes,” and “can leads,” which show problems with verb forms and subject–verb agreement. Other sentences lack clear grammatical structure, such as “The person food habits and lifestyle will decide the weight of the body not on the things what we are eat.” Articles, plurals and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then combine them with controlled subordinate clauses; proofread each sentence for a clear subject, verb and logical completion.

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