Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is ongoing debates regarding, obesity as a major problem. A group of individual believe that, advertising junk food is the main reason for this problem and should be banned. However, others argue that junk food advertising dose not create a problem of obesity and should not be banned. Therefore, ahead of my opinion, both views will be discuss further.

According to some societies, obesity has been always a problem for people and found insecure. However people junk food pointed as a unhealthy food and the package attract a individuals. where, the ingredients were very oily, spicy, So people feel it has high calories and it may effect their body and weight. Finally, in this case many individuals seek for healthy and organic food for regular meal and wanted to banned junk food advertising.

On the other hand, advertising junk food dose not contribute to the problem of obesity. people should have the freedom to choose what they want to eat because of one problem banned is not seem to be a option. Banning advertisements may impact on businesses who promote their product and consumers. people should know about healthy eating instead of banning all advertisement.

In conclusion, instead of Banning the advertisements people should have knowledge about what to eat and what not. Moreover, obesity dose not always come from junk food some times it is because of some health problem. I firmly believe that choosing right, healthy food is more beneficial for our entire body.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both views and give a clear preference in the conclusion: you oppose a ban and favour education about healthy eating. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The first body paragraph is difficult to follow and does not clearly explain how advertising causes obesity; the points about oily ingredients, calories and seeking organic food are not linked into a developed argument. The opposing view is also brief, relying mainly on freedom of choice and possible effects on businesses. The response contains 230 words, below the required 250; 17 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Add relevant explanation or examples to develop each side, and make your position explicit earlier as well as in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the links between obesity, packaging, ingredients and choosing organic food are difficult to follow. Some connections are also mechanical or imprecise, as in “Therefore, ahead of my opinion,” and “Finally, in this case.” Improve the logical sequence by giving each paragraph a clear main point, then explaining it and adding a relevant example. Use referencing and linking phrases only where their relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “consumers,” “calories” and “healthy eating,” so the reader can identify the subject and main arguments. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling or collocation errors make parts of the response awkward or unclear. Examples include “a group of individual,” “found insecure,” “the package attract a individuals” and “junk food pointed as a unhealthy food.” The repeated use of “people,” “problem” and “food” also limits variety. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing advertising and health, and check word forms and common collocations. For example, describe advertising as “influential” or “a contributing factor” rather than relying on broad, repeated wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a reason clause in “because of one problem banned is not seem to be a option.” Nevertheless, errors are frequent, and some sentence structures make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “There is ongoing debates,” “a group of individual believe,” “will be discuss further,” and “obesity has been always a problem.” Articles, subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries need particular attention. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, such as starting sentences with lowercase “people” and using commas in “According to some societies, obesity has been always a problem for people and found insecure.” Practise accurate basic clauses before adding more complex structures.

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