Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Obesity is known as one of a major problem in many socities.It is argued that excessive advertisment of junk food should be banned owing to its contribution in its spread. Others argued that it is not the case and should not be banned. From my standpoint, both points hold merits.

To begin with, fast food pose a significant threat to human life becasue they are made of undigestable ingredients. Therefore, these ingredients alter the regular working of human digestive system, that may cause obestity and other health problems. For example, in Pakistan the bun used for making burgers are extremely unhyganic and so; harmful for digestive system. As a result, people fall a prey to different diseases, obesity is one of them. Moreover, obesity is due to energy imbalance. Therefore, some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem because these advertisment attract people toward fast food and they start consuming junk food in large quantity, without checking the calories and may suffer.

Although, junk food may caus obesity, the weight gain is driven by several factor; for instance, depression, irregular sleep pattern, stress, PCOS, and environmental factors. A person who may not get enough sleep disturb hormones and as a result start using irrgular consumption; for example, late night snackings. Same is the case with people, who has PCOS, they mostly eat more sweets especially, dark chocolates that also have adverse effect on hormones. Therefore, obesity is not just because of the advertisment, many other factors involved in it.

From my perspective, a balanced approach is needed. Instead of over-reliying on junk food, people should balanced their diet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the task. The first body paragraph explains how advertising may encourage people to consume more junk food, while the next recognises other influences such as sleep, stress and PCOS. However, the position is not fully clear: “both points hold merits” suggests neutrality, and the conclusion’s “a balanced approach is needed” does not clearly state whether advertising should be banned. Some support is also under-developed or questionable, particularly the claims about burger buns in Pakistan and people with PCOS eating more sweets. To strengthen the response, explain each side more directly, use more convincing examples, and make your final opinion on a ban explicit. The stated length requirement is met; 14 words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting different considerations, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “Although” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The discussion moves from food ingredients to advertising and then to energy imbalance without clearly connecting these points. In the second body paragraph, the examples about sleep and PCOS are not smoothly integrated into the main claim. The conclusion is very brief and does not bring the two sides together. Use clearer topic sentences, explain how each example supports its paragraph’s main idea, and make references such as “these ingredients” and “this problem” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “energy imbalance,” “digestive system,” “environmental factors,” and “adverse effect,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “irregular sleep pattern” and “late night snackings.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, including “socities,” “advertisment,” “undigestable,” and “obestity.” Some combinations are also unnatural or imprecise: “fall a prey to different diseases” and “contribution in its spread” do not sound idiomatic, while “fast food” is repeated frequently. Build accuracy by checking spelling and collocations, and vary repeated terms with suitable alternatives such as “high-calorie food” or “promotional campaigns.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because,” “therefore,” and “as a result.” This gives the response some variety, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure and agreement sometimes make ideas harder to follow. For example, “fast food pose” needs a singular/plural match, and “A person who may not get enough sleep disturb hormones” has an incorrect verb form and an unclear clause structure. There are also problems with articles and plurals, as in “one of a major problem” and “several factor.” Punctuation is sometimes faulty, particularly the semicolon in “factors; for instance.” Practise checking subject–verb agreement and building complete, clearly punctuated complex sentences.

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