Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

These days, being ourweigh is a pressing issue in some particular areas of some countries. But what is the most effective method for dealing with obesity. Some people believe that advertisement of food play a pivotal role in obesity and it should be banned. Meanwhile, other feel opposite to this argument. In this essay, i will discuss both sides of the arguments and draw a conclusion.

First of all, it is widely acknowledged that fast food is the major cause of obesity. So, advertising food on social media has a disastrous impact on public health. What i mean by this is that most often people use mobile phones in their leisure time. For instance, many food brand advertise their products by social media adds whether through tiktok, facebook or instagram and also launch some valuable deals and people order it. If these adds would be ban by the government, then obesity may be reduce.

On the other hand, there is a common belief in some reasidents of the society that promotion of food does not contribute to obesity. To be more precise, obesity also occur due to lack of exercise. For example, lay down immediately after meal is a direct consequence of being ourweigh. If a person walks atleast 5 miles a day after meal, then it would be beneficial for their health.

In conclusion, Although it is a common belief that obesity is a huge problem. I believe that avoiding fast food and exercise would mitigate the obesity. Personally, I think that exercise play a vital role to control the obesity rather than banning junk food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you argue that advertising can encourage unhealthy choices, while exercise and avoiding fast food are also important. The examples of social-media promotions and walking after meals are relevant to obesity, so the response remains focused on the task. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The case for not banning advertising is mainly explained through lack of exercise, rather than showing why advertising itself may have little influence; your conclusion also shifts towards exercise without clearly resolving whether advertising should be banned. To strengthen the response, explain each side more fully and state a consistent, direct view on the proposed ban, supported by a specific example or reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. The progression within paragraphs is generally understandable, particularly where you connect social-media advertising with food orders. However, some links are mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is not always clear. For example, the point about lying down after a meal does not clearly explain how advertising is unrelated to obesity, and the conclusion introduces avoiding fast food without developing that point earlier. Use clearer references and connect each example explicitly to the argument it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “public health,” “advertising,” “lack of exercise,” and “beneficial for their health.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts less natural or occasionally difficult to interpret. Examples include “being ourweigh,” “social media adds,” “valuable deals,” and “some reasidents.” Repetition of “obesity” and “food” also limits flexibility. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing causes and policy, and check spelling carefully. More accurate phrases such as “overweight,” “online advertisements,” and “discount offers” would make your points clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If these adds would be ban by the government” and “If a person walks…”. This shows an effort to express cause and effect, but the complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “advertisement of food play” has a subject–verb agreement problem, “other feel” needs a plural subject and verb, and “obesity may be reduce” has an incorrect verb form. There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation issues, such as the question mark after “obesity” in the introduction and the capitalised “Although” after a comma in the conclusion. Practise agreement, passive forms, and sentence punctuation before adding more complex structures.

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