Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is no denying fact that obesity should be considerd as a concerned problem in every society.It brings unavoidable dangers to health.But i dont completely agree with the fact that junk food advertising is to be blamed for this issue.

One of the major concerned issue about obesity is it stores fat in our blood vessels. When the amount of fat increases rapidly it can reduce the regular blood circulation flow.Which might end up with a major block in our blood vessel.This can lead our body to a severe heart attack.These body fat cxan also consume energy of our body and follwoing that our bidy feels tired and overweighted.Obesity can`t be left avoided.The risky concerns must be kept in my mind in every society.

The other compelling fact regarding to the junk food advertising is debated among the people.Bt every individual should be well aware about the fact that they consume food by their own choice and taste.The junk food advertise can inspire them to have the meal frequenlty just only for buisness purpose perherps it can`rt force people.everyone have to keep essential knowledge about the food requirement of our body.They must have to be cocerned about which element can cause harm for consiuming more than required and less than required.advertisement cant have influnece in all of these facts.

In conclusion,obesity must be considered as a major threat for soundness of our body.To live with healthier life obesity must need to be mainted.As junk food advertising is not illegal moreover only attracts people in buying more it dosend need to be bannrd.Our own awareness and measures can prevent us from major food consuming threads.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that advertising should not be banned, and you mention that adverts may encourage frequent consumption while consumers ultimately choose what to eat. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the argument that advertising should be banned is not really explained: the paragraph about obesity describes health risks rather than showing how advertising contributes to them. Your own position is present, but it is not consistently developed with relevant reasons or examples. For instance, the claim that advertising “cant have influnece in all of these facts” is asserted rather than supported. To strengthen the response, explain each side’s reasoning directly and add a specific example or evidence linking advertising, eating habits, and obesity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. The ideas within the paragraphs, however, do not always progress logically. The second paragraph focuses on the medical effects of obesity, rather than developing the view about advertising, and the next paragraph shifts between personal choice, business motives, and food knowledge without clear links. Connectors such as “The other compelling fact” and “In conclusion” signal stages, but some transitions are awkward or do not show the relationship between ideas. Pronoun references such as “These body fat” are also unclear. Organise the body around the two opposing views, and use clear topic sentences followed by explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “blood circulation,” “advertising,” “business purpose,” and “major threat.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand, such as “stores fat in our blood vessels,” “overweighted,” and “food consuming threads.” Spelling errors, including “frequenlty,” “influnece,” and “bannrd,” also reduce clarity. Some phrases appear to be direct or awkward combinations, for example “concerned problem” and “soundness of our body.” Aim for precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. Reusing accurate topic vocabulary is more effective than attempting unfamiliar phrases that do not convey your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, including “When the amount of fat increases rapidly it can reduce…” and “As junk food advertising is not illegal…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “obesity should be considerd,” “everyone have to,” and “it dosend need to be bannrd.” Several sentences are joined or punctuated incorrectly: “flow.Which might end up…” is a fragment, while the conclusion begins with a dependent clause that is not clearly connected to a complete main clause. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences, then combine them with correctly formed subordinate clauses. Check sentence boundaries and capitalisation during proofreading.

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