Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some areas, fat is regarded as a major issue. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. In my point of view I don't think that obesity is a big issue if someone become fat after eating much junk food. They can also recover their fatness through leaving junk food eat proper diet and do exercise dialy. If fat people do this kind of activities they can get freedom from obesity. On the other hand huge amount of people blame junk food advertisment they think that the adds of junk food should be banned but I not think about that because everyone is doing their bussines. If someone don't like food adds they should skip them also they have a option of do it not intrested. In my point of view advertising never be ban because majority of the people order food on internet. At the end I would say that fatness is not a major issue if someone is facing problem from obesity they should quiet all that thinks that was causing of their fatness. If someone is not recovering after all their efforts so their oberity is from genes usually most of the people do not recover from this if they get from their prents my cousin is a major example he worked really hard on his physique but never recover because they have fatness in their blood

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear view that advertising should not be banned, and you mention the opposing claim that adverts contribute to obesity. However, the discussion of both views is minimal: the argument against a ban is mainly that businesses should be allowed to advertise and viewers can skip adverts, while the case for a ban is only briefly reported. The response also shifts towards whether obesity is serious and whether individuals can lose weight, rather than examining advertising’s influence. The cousin example introduces genetics but does not explain the advertising debate. The response is 223 words, below the 250-word minimum; 38 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, develop each side with relevant reasons and examples, then connect them directly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence of ideas, signalled by phrases such as “On the other hand” and “At the end,” and your opinion is identifiable. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the two views and your conclusion are not clearly separated. The progression is also difficult to follow: it moves from personal responsibility to advertising, then online food orders, and finally genetics without showing how each point supports the central argument. Some links are unclear, as in “If someone is not recovering after all their efforts so their obesity is from genes.” Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the discussion, and the conclusion. Make each paragraph focus on one main point and use linking phrases to show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “junk food advertising,” “obesity,” “diet,” “exercise,” and “genes,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is basic and several choices or spellings make the message less clear or natural. For example, “recover their fatness” and “get freedom from obesity” are awkward expressions, while “fatness” is repeated where “obesity” would be more appropriate. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “advertisment,” “dialy,” “intrested,” and “prents.” Aim to use accurate collocations and a wider range of terms for causes and effects, such as “influence eating habits” or “promote high-calorie products.” Proofreading spelling would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and conditional structures, such as “If someone don’t like food adds they should skip them,” and the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “someone become fat,” “everyone is doing their bussines,” and “advertising never be ban.” The final sentence is especially difficult to follow because several clauses are joined without clear punctuation: “if they get from their prents my cousin is a major example.” Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with clear conjunctions and punctuation. Check subject–verb agreement and use the correct verb form after modal verbs and in conditional clauses.

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