Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the modern era, fast foods are very popular in all over the world. In few locality, obesity is described as a critical problem. Less number of individuals feel that fast food marketing is widely to blame for this threats and should be terminated. But, other side of the netizens think that fast food marketing does not contribute to the threat of obesity and should not be terminated.
To commence with the first view, fast food is harmful for individual's health. To be more precise, there can be a risk of cholestrol in heart due to consuming oily fast food and can reach to the disease like heart attack. For instance, my neighbour who were use to eat fast food at outside had heart attack because of the layer of dirty oil on the layer of there arteries. Consequently, it can led to the various types of diseases from which we should have to become careful.
On the other hand, fast food is also necessary for those who do not able to make there own meal at there home. To elaborate further on this point, individuals do not get panic about to make there own food at there homes. A clear example of this would be, one of my classmate who are not able to make their food on his home were use to order food online. As a result, individuals do not get difficulty to make home made food and can get more time for different things.
To recapitulate, fast food plays a vital role in citizen's life. Though both the point of view have merit. But according to me, netizens should have to avoid fast foods on there daily routine.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You present two broad views and give a personal recommendation: you describe health risks from fast food and explain why it is convenient for people who cannot prepare meals. However, the response only partially addresses the specific debate about advertising. The first body paragraph discusses the harm of fast food itself rather than explaining how advertising encourages obesity, while the second argues for convenience without directly showing why advertising should not be banned. Your conclusion says people should avoid fast food, but does not clearly state whether its advertising should be prohibited. Develop each side around advertising’s influence, support the claims with relevant reasoning, and make your position on a ban explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To commence with the first view” and “On the other hand” help signal the intended organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first moves from health risks to a personal anecdote, and the second shifts from convenience to having more time, without clearly connecting these points to advertising. Some linking phrases are mechanical or awkward, and “Though both the point of view have merit. But…” creates a broken connection between sentences. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s main argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “marketing,” “arteries,” and “heart attack,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “To elaborate further.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Less number of individuals” and “threat of obesity” do not express the ideas naturally, while “netizens” is unsuitable for referring generally to people in this discussion. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “cholestrol” and “home made.” Build a more precise set of expressions for advertising, consumer influence, diet, and public health, and check collocations and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, including clauses introduced by “who” and “because,” but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently. Examples include “In few locality,” “my neighbour who were use to eat,” and “individuals who do not able to make there own meal.” These show problems with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. The conclusion also contains an incomplete contrast structure: “Though both the point of view have merit. But…” Aim first for accurate basic clauses, then practise combining them with correctly formed subordinate clauses. Proofread for subject–verb agreement, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries.
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