Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Obesity is considerd as a crutial complexcity in many parts of the world. some people blaming junk food as a catalyst for this issue, while others are silent in this fact, From my perspective the fast food makes a large contribution to this problem.

On the one hand, the people who don not wants fast food to be banned. Because junke are easily provided everywhere and offortable than some of other foods. For example, In turkey, most of the people eat fast food because of their busy shedules of lives and considerable number of people are poor who can not offort the home food. co nsequently, the quick access to junk food has made a proper place in peopel's hearts. Furthermore, fast food resturants provids a high level of job opportunities.

On the other hand, people who believe that fast foods are the main factor which cause obesity, I largely agree with this view. The excessive cunsumption of fast food can cause the obesity because fast food contains high fat level materials which makes contribution to obesity. For instance, In Pakistan twenty five percent youn poeple are suffering from obesity in a very young age because of exessive junk food consumption. Futhermore, many fast food containes limited fibers and essential neutrents which also leads to obesity.

In conclusion, obesity is becoming a serious promlem in many countries of the world. many idividuals highlights that food are onely reasen behind this while others considers it as a positive thing because of its avialibility ans offortability.I beleive that we sould maintain a considerable on ourselves because the high use of these foods may leads to obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state your own position in the opening, saying fast food makes a “large contribution” to obesity. The response also gives relevant reasons: affordability and convenience for those opposing a ban, and high fat content and limited nutrients for those supporting restrictions. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The point about restaurant jobs does not explain why advertising should remain permitted, and the claim about young people in Pakistan is presented without explanation or support. Your conclusion shifts toward personal responsibility rather than clearly restating your view on whether advertising should be banned. Develop each side more directly around advertising and make your final position consistent and explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast, and the examples generally follow the points they illustrate. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence of the second body paragraph is a fragment, while “Because” begins a separate sentence in the first body paragraph, disrupting the flow of the argument. The conclusion also combines opposing ideas in a confusing way, particularly “others considers it as a positive thing.” Use complete sentences, connect each reason explicitly to the question of advertising, and ensure the conclusion follows logically from the position stated in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “excessive consumption,” “contribution,” “availability,” and “affordability.” These choices show some awareness of formal discussion language. However, the range is limited and errors in spelling, word form, and collocation are noticeable, sometimes making the message harder to follow. Examples include “crutial complexcity,” “offortable,” “high fat level materials,” and “limited fibers.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “silent in this fact” does not clearly express the opposing view, and “maintain a considerable on ourselves” is difficult to interpret. Build a bank of accurate topic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; this will make your arguments clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a relative clause in “which also leads to obesity.” However, control is inconsistent, and faulty sentence construction often affects clarity. For example, “Because junke are easily provided everywhere” is an incomplete sentence, and “people who believe that fast foods are the main factor which cause obesity, I largely agree” has an incomplete opening clause and faulty agreement. Other recurring problems include “people don not wants,” “restaurants provids,” and “many individuals highlights.” Review subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, and practise combining clauses into complete sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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