Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few societies, overweightness is considered as a major issue. Some individual's oppose that fast food advertisement is largely blame for this problem and should be banned. However, other thinks junk food advertisement does not chip in to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. In this essay, i will discuss both opinion and will give my opinion on this issue.

Many individual's think that advertisment is main cause of junk food's popularity and needs to be ban. Beacuse due to advertisement people came to know about new spots and food option, which may be ignored if these advertisement are not available. For example; Kfc puts big banners all around the cities with tempeting picture of burgers and amazing meal offers which attracts the consumers and they tend to taste the burgers even if they are not hungry. Moreover, many platforms offer exclusive discount on different categories such as bank cards discount, new year celebration discount, independence day discount. All these marketing tricks traps the customers and they loose their control on their eating habbits and this will lead them to obesity.

On the other hand, Some people thinks advertisment is not an issue amd there is no need to ban. People need to control their eating habbit by themselves, because if someone is consicous about his health and only wants to eat healthy nobody can change his mind not even these attractive advertisments. Advertisments are beneficial for those who have control on their diet and wants to have junk only on weekends or maybe once or twice a month.

Obesity is major health issue in society which prominently increase in teenagers due to overconsumption of junk food. In my opinion, over eating is main issue not junk food and even not the advertisement. People need to control their eating habbit for the sake of their own health. Advertisment is beneficial for companies and even for moderate eater this does need to stop. Only balance eating approach is important to control obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear position: you argue that personal eating habits, rather than advertising, are the main cause of obesity. The first viewpoint is supported with relevant examples, including KFC banners and promotional discounts, and you explain how these may encourage people to eat when they are not hungry. The opposing view is also presented through personal responsibility and moderation. However, this second argument is less developed, and the conclusion largely repeats your position instead of weighing the two views or explaining why one is more convincing. To strengthen the response, develop the counterargument with a specific example and make the reasoning behind your own position more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding opinion. This makes the discussion easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” to signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical or unclear. For instance, “Beacuse due to advertisement” repeats the same causal link, while “All these marketing tricks traps the customers” moves quickly from discounts to obesity without fully explaining the steps. The final paragraph also repeats earlier points rather than synthesising them. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the links between claims and consequences explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “overconsumption,” “exclusive discount,” “moderate eater,” and “control their diet.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the writing less natural. Examples include “overweightness,” “chip in to the problem,” “spots and food option,” and “balance eating approach.” Spelling errors such as “advertisment,” “Beacuse,” and “habbit” are also noticeable. Aim for more precise, conventional expressions and check spelling carefully; for example, use “contribute to obesity,” “food outlets,” and “a balanced diet.” This would make your arguments clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if someone is conscious about his health” and a relative clause in “which may be ignored.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “other thinks” should use a plural subject with “think,” and “needs to be ban” requires a passive form such as “needs to be banned.” In “which attracts the consumers,” the verb does not agree with the plural subject “banners.” There are also punctuation and capitalisation slips, including “Some” after a comma and the semicolon after “For example.” Review agreement and passive constructions, then proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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