Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Excessive consumption of junk food may lead to obesity but it don't mean that advertisement of junk food is the major cause for it

obesity is one the very dangerous situation a person may go through as he or she would have alot of health issues due to obesity

a person may also find difficulties in doing there work and stuff if they are obese

there is alot of junk food in our society that people advertising but that doesn't meN we should consume it we have to look after our health so we need to stop eating junk and try to focus on our health and have a healthy lifestyle

They are people who have there businesses who sell junk food but can be consumed sometimes not on daily basis but once in a week or two weeks like that

for some people that business would only be the source of income for their families

so even if there are advertising it

it doesn't mean that they are doing anything wrong they are just trying to earn and help their families financially they just do advertisements for their business to grow and they can bring their business to people's attention so that they can make more money for their family

so advertisement of junk food is just a way for coustomers that directly doesn't mean that it will lead to obesity

people should look after their health and should balance their food and have a healthy lifestyle and maintain their health

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that advertising is not the main cause of obesity, and you offer relevant points about personal responsibility and the livelihoods of people who sell junk food. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the argument that advertising contributes to obesity is not really explained: the opening only acknowledges that junk food can cause obesity, without showing how advertising might encourage consumption. Your own position is present but is repeated rather than developed with evidence or a specific example. To strengthen the response, explain both sides directly—for instance, how advertising can influence children or purchasing habits, and why individual choice and other factors also matter—then support your conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces obesity, discusses personal responsibility, then explains why businesses advertise, before restating your view. This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, ideas are not arranged into clear, purposeful paragraphs, and several points run together in long blocks. Connections between claims are often weak; for example, the move from people choosing whether to eat junk food to the financial needs of sellers is not clearly signposted as a separate argument. Repetition of the idea that people should maintain a healthy lifestyle also limits progression. Use one paragraph for each view, followed by a conclusion, and connect them with clear transitions such as “On the other hand” and “In my view.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “obesity,” “advertisement,” “source of income,” and “healthy lifestyle.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “junk food,” “health,” and “advertisement.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a person may go through” for a health condition and “advertisement … is just a way for customers,” which makes parts of the argument less clear. Spelling errors such as “alot,” “coustomers,” and “meN” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling; terms such as “promote,” “influence purchasing choices,” and “contribute to weight gain” would help express the ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic linking structures, but sentence forms are mostly simple or joined with “and,” and attempts at more complex grammar are often inaccurate. For example, “it don't mean” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “people advertising” is missing a suitable verb form. There are also errors in articles, possessives, and pronouns, as in “one the very dangerous situation” and “doing there work.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, which makes the long sections harder to follow. Practise building accurate sentences with subordinate clauses, such as “Although advertising may encourage people to buy junk food, individuals also make choices about their diet,” and proofread agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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