Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in fewer societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. some of the people believes junk food advertising is largerly to blame for this problem and should be banned. however, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of fatiness and should not be banned. Both of the views are different according to the mindset o the different people.

In first point of view, people belive that advertising should be banned for preventing the harmful effects of fast food. In fact, their point of view is absolutely right, as the people dont saw any new verity of fast food they dont have any wish to eat it. in addition, advertisement have the major role for selling the products. for example, many of the brands advertise there various kinds of acts for their better advertisement.

secondly, the point of view of other people is that advertising is not the main cause for the obesity so it should not be banned. futhermore, this point of view is absolutely wrong, bcz people have the will to eat what they watch. In addition, advertisement attracts the people toward them. Advertisement have the major role in the selling ofproducts. So as the products advertise well it should gain fame, and more people will to eat it and become prey of obesity.

In conclusion, both of the people had their own mindest. But in my opinion, advertisment should be banned. As we know, fast food have the negative impact on our health. so we should avoid to eat unhealthy deit. As the advertisement increase, product should gain fame. which is harmful for us.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both views and state your own position clearly in the conclusion: you support banning advertising. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The argument for a ban is mainly that people may want foods they see advertised, while the opposing view is labelled “absolutely wrong” rather than fairly explained; you do not give a reason why others think advertising is not a major cause of obesity. The example about brands advertising “various kinds of acts” is unclear and does not provide relevant evidence. The response also falls 11 words short of the 250-word minimum; 32 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To strengthen the response, explain both perspectives with specific, relevant examples and develop your own reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “In first point of view,” “secondly,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the stages of your answer. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and several ideas are repeated rather than connected or extended. For example, the claim that advertising has a major role in selling products appears in both body paragraphs, without showing how it supports each side differently. Some links are also unclear, particularly the movement from advertising to people becoming “prey of obesity.” Build each paragraph around one clear claim, explain its connection to the question, and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast, or example more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertising,” “products,” and “negative impact on our health,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “point of view,” “advertisement,” and “people.” Frequent spelling and word-choice problems weaken clarity, such as “fatiness,” “futhermore,” “mindest,” and “deit.” Some expressions are also unnatural or unclear: “various kinds of acts” does not communicate what is being advertised, and “become prey of obesity” is not an appropriate collocation. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “promotional campaigns,” “influence purchasing choices,” and “increase the risk of obesity,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer structures, including “as the people dont saw any new verity of fast food they dont have any wish to eat it,” and use simple sentences to communicate your main position. However, the range is narrow, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “some of the people believes” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the people dont saw” uses an incorrect verb form. In “advertisement have the major role,” the subject and verb do not agree. Several sentences also run together or begin with a dependent clause without clear punctuation. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “which.”

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