Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is often argued by some people that obesity is regarded as a major problem from junk food. Moreover, others believe that junk food does not contribute to the problem of obesity. However, I believe that junk food should be banned.

On the one hand, some people believe that obesity is a major problem from junk food. As we eat food from resturants and hotels, many of the diseases create in our body. Take an example of Russia, where in 2007, they should be banned 50 percent unhealthy food because of obesity. Thus, obesity is a major problem for everyone.

On the while hand, some people argued that junk food does not contribute to the problem of obesity. As we have not eat food, we order that for junk food. For instance, in Swetzerland, 60 percent people eat junk food because they thought that junk food is a healthy and very yummy food. Hence junk food is the leading major problem.

However, I believe that junk food should be banned. As when we eat daily junk food, we create a many problems in our body.

To sum up, some people argued that obesity is regarded as a major problem due to junk food while others believe that junk food does not contribute to the problem of obesity. However, I believe that junk food should be banned.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear opinion—“I believe that junk food should be banned”—and include paragraphs representing both views, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is very limited: the first side mainly asserts that junk food causes disease, while the opposing side is not explained convincingly and is followed by the claim that junk food is a leading problem. The examples about Russia and Switzerland are unsupported and do not clearly demonstrate the claims. Your conclusion repeats your position rather than drawing together developed arguments. The response is 202 words, below the required 250; 24 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a clear reason and a relevant, explained example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “However,” and “To sum up” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is weak, and some links do not match the ideas that follow. For example, “On the while hand” is an inaccurate transition, and the paragraph beginning with the view that junk food does not cause obesity ends by calling it “the leading major problem.” This makes the relationship between claims unclear. The conclusion largely repeats the introduction. Use accurate transitions and connect each example explicitly to the point it is meant to support.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “obesity,” “junk food,” “diseases,” and “banned,” and the main subject is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, which limits how clearly you can express the arguments. Phrases such as “a major problem from junk food,” “the diseases create in our body,” and “a healthy and very yummy food” are not natural or suitably precise for an academic discussion. There are also spelling errors, including “resturants” and “Swetzerland.” Build a wider range of accurate collocations for causes, health effects, advertising, and personal choice, and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some sentence variety, including subordinate clauses beginning with “As” and a relative clause in “Russia, where in 2007…”. Most sentences communicate a basic point, but control is inconsistent, and several grammatical errors make relationships or timing unclear. For example, “As we have not eat food” has an incorrect verb form, while “they should be banned 50 percent unhealthy food” has a faulty verb construction. In “we create a many problems,” the article and plural form do not agree. The opening sentence also uses an awkward passive structure. Practise accurate past and present verb forms, articles, and sentence patterns, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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