Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Over feeding has been linked to major issues individually and to the community at large. its is argued that junk food marketing has played a huge role to this development thus be banned. On the other hand, few people are of the opinion that unhealthy foods publications nothing to do with the cause of over weight therefore should not be haulted. I am of the opinion that, unhealthy food publication should be haulted. The eassy will buttress the both views and my opinion.

Advertisement of junk foods easily leads people into making purchases they may not want to. In the sense that, an individual who have been battling to stop such food type can be easily tempted through advert on TV or mobile device of such foods thereby placing an order online. This ends up decreasing the persons chances of breaking a bad habit.

Secondly, people should learn to avoid emotional expenditures. An advert should not make one break ones standards or value. People shoukd take their words and life seriously. A prime example is, a morbid individual should not engage in eating unhealthy food due to the detrimental effects on their health. Moreover, one should choose self care over health defects.

In conclusion, junk food advert should not be banned unless when found to be harmful to the society at large. Futher more, people shold make right choices on what to eat .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear preference for banning junk-food advertising in the introduction, but the conclusion contradicts this by saying it “should not be banned unless when found to be harmful.” This makes your final position unclear. The discussion of advertising’s influence is relevant, especially the example of someone trying to stop eating such food being tempted by an advert, but the opposing view is not properly explained: the paragraph about personal responsibility does not clearly show why advertising does not contribute to obesity. Your ideas also need more explanation and supporting evidence. The response is 234 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum. Develop both views, explain your position consistently, and add a specific example or evidence for each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help identify stages of the argument. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from a discussion of both views to a consistent conclusion. The second body paragraph shifts to general advice about emotional spending and self-care without clearly connecting these points to the claim that advertising does not cause obesity. Some links are also awkward or incomplete, as in “In the sense that,” which leaves the preceding idea hanging. Organise the body around one view per paragraph, explain how each example supports that view, and ensure the conclusion follows the position established in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “junk food marketing,” “tempted,” “detrimental effects” and “self care,” so the reader can generally identify the subject and your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “unhealthy foods publications,” “emotional expenditures” and “break ones standards.” Spelling errors, including “haulted,” “eassy” and “Futher,” also reduce accuracy. Choose precise terms for the task—for example, distinguish advertising from the food itself—and use natural collocations. Repeating “junk food advert” and “unhealthy food” could be reduced by using accurate alternatives such as “food marketing” or “high-calorie products.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including “An individual who have been battling to stop such food type can be easily tempted,” and use a conditional idea in “unless when found to be harmful.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include the subject–verb disagreement in “an individual who have,” the incomplete construction “In the sense that,” and the unclear clause “thus be banned.” Apostrophes and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “its is argued” and “ones standards.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, checking agreement and punctuation, and using straightforward complex structures accurately before attempting more elaborate phrasing.

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