Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many citizens are discussing obesity is major issue. On one hand individuals believe that not healthy food are advertising in large scale which individuals are blaming to advertising company of people are increase their weight. On other hand individuals are discussing advetising is not the main issue and should be banned, In my opinion advertising is not issue its people mentality and people who are getting obese should be educated and banning the advertising it create major issue to people and goverment.

Furthermore, individuals who getting obese have to educate that junk food how harmfull to them, The guardian of obese people and education system has to teach them most young people are the targeted one who are getting obese from the schooling system ha to start and educated to them having junk food which going to effect to their health problem example cardiovascular diseases, diabetic and dyslipidimia, i wan give an example a friend of mine he has younge brother which is in fourth class which has diabetic problem because he use to sweets and fry food of fast food in his school has never educated to him that how junk food could effect to his heath.

Moreover, banning the advertising company it could effect many job people who are work in that company which could effect in their life also banning the advertising company i does not change the society, It need to change citizen mentality.

In my opinion individual need to educate why junk food is harmfull and not ban advertising.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall opinion: advertising should not be banned, and education is a better response. You also mention the view that advertising contributes to obesity and develop your own argument about educating young people, supported by the example of your friend’s brother. However, the opposing view is only briefly introduced, and the essay does not explain in much detail why people believe advertising drives unhealthy choices. Your argument that a ban would affect jobs is relevant but asserted rather than supported. To address the task more fully, explain both positions with comparable detail and connect each example clearly to the question of advertising and obesity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure: an opening paragraph, a paragraph about education, a paragraph about employment, and a concluding opinion. Linking phrases such as “On one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “Moreover” help signal movement between points. However, the overall progression is limited: the first paragraph combines the two views and your position in a confusing way, while the later paragraphs mainly repeat the case for education and against a ban. Some connections between ideas are unclear, particularly the shift from young people’s health to the effect of a ban on advertising-company workers. Organise the essay around the two views and then your judgement, using clearer links between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “obesity,” “junk food,” “advertising,” “cardiovascular diseases,” and “diabetic,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as the effect on workers and the need to change people’s mentality. However, vocabulary is often repetitive, especially “individuals,” “people,” “advertising,” and “junk food,” and several word choices or forms make meaning less clear. Examples include “not healthy food,” “the targeted one,” and “effect to their health problem.” Spelling errors such as “advetising,” “harmfull,” and “goverment” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise phrases for causes, consequences, and public-health measures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a sentence that gives a personal example, but complex structures are often difficult to follow because of frequent errors. For instance, “individuals who getting obese have to educate” is missing necessary verb forms, and “banning the advertising company it could effect many job people” has an unclear sentence structure and faulty agreement. Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “a friend of mine he has younge brother” and “the education system has to teach them.” Punctuation, especially comma use and sentence boundaries, further obscures meaning. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then connect them with clauses using “because,” “which,” or “although.”

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