Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience·and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, obesity has become a major social concern. Thus, it is widely asserted that the promotion of fast food items is reponsible for this phenomenon as it contributes to attract the comsumers. Meanwhile, others argue that it is not the reason of obesity because the main reasons are less pysical activity and unawareness of the people while eating food from outside and therefore, it shound not be restricted which I support as well.

To begin, advertisements of different products play a crucial role in our life especially when it comes to food. The main aim of those adverts is to grab the attention of the buyers by making them attractive. When people see them, they get manipulated easily and eat them consistantly. As a result, it leads to gaining extra weight. For instance, they use various cartoon characters to fascinate the youngstars particularly in the marketing of chocolates, cold drinks, chips. These food contain high level of calories and sugar which contribute to obesity.

On the other hand, now the young generations are becoming lazier. They are less willing to do pysical activities such as jogging, playing out door games. They spend most of their time sitting at home without doing anything or playing video games. Therefore, majority of them are suffering from obesity. Apart from this, the modern people are quite educated to read the ingredients when they are consuming packaged food such as the fat contents, the levels of sugar. Moreover, they have their own brains to choose between right and wrong. However, they are not concious about this. Therefore, they usually comsume a substantial amout of juck food without being aware not only getting influenced by the advertisements.

To recapitulate, from my perspective, reduction in the pysical movement and unconciousness are the causes of obesity not the promotions of the fast food. Thus, they should not be prohibited.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both positions and make your own view clear: you argue that inactivity and lack of awareness matter more than advertising, so adverts should not be prohibited. The examples of cartoon characters attracting children and of people spending time on video games are relevant to the debate. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The advertising argument explains how promotion may influence consumers, but the opposing case relies on broad claims that people are educated and can choose for themselves; it does not explain why advertising has little effect despite those choices. Your conclusion repeats your position rather than drawing together the reasoning. Develop the counterargument with a specific explanation or example, and acknowledge how advertising might still contribute alongside lifestyle factors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two body paragraphs is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin,” “On the other hand,” and “To recapitulate” help the reader identify the stages of the argument. This coherent arrangement is a strength. At times, however, linking is mechanical or the relationship between ideas is not fully clear. In the second body paragraph, “Apart from this” introduces education and food labels, but the connection to the claim about inactivity could be made more explicit. The final sentence beginning “Therefore” also leaves the reader unsure whether it refers to lack of awareness or advertising. Use clearer references and explain how each point supports the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “obesity,” “advertisements,” “calories,” “sugar,” and “physical activities,” and some choices such as “grab the attention” and “substantial amount” show an attempt to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “reponsible,” “comsumers,” “youngstars,” “concious,” and “juck food.” Some collocations are also unnatural, including “the reason of obesity” and “contribute to attract the consumers.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms such as “food” and “people” with precise alternatives where appropriate would also make the argument more flexible and clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “while,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, but they rarely prevent the reader from following your main points. For example, “it contributes to attract” needs a different verb pattern, and “These food contain” has a disagreement between the demonstrative and noun. In “the main reasons are less physical activity and unawareness,” the items in the list are not expressed in a parallel form. The long opening sentence also joins several claims in a way that makes the structure difficult to track. Practise accurate verb patterns, agreement, and parallel lists, and divide long sentences when they contain several separate ideas.

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