Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate past and current overweight rates in OECD countries from 1970 till 2020.

Overview, the rate of a overweight of all counties have rised over the period. USA was the first leading country who had overweight rate and it is leading from starting till end. Korea was in the last of graph and it rate start exesting in the end of 19s.

As we can see that USA had approxe 46% overweight rate in 1970, but it drop little bite and reaches to 42% in 1978. Moreover, it soar after it and reaches to 85% till 2020. In contrast

England has second largest overweight till the 2020 it have 70%.

France and Korea where the country how have minimum overweight ratio in the graph. However the rate of other country was increase as

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify relevant broad features, including the overall rise and Korea’s position at the bottom, but the report only partially summarises the graph and leaves its final comparison unfinished. Several key details are inaccurate: the USA reaches about 74% in 2020, not 85%, and its early dip is from roughly 45% in 1972 to 43% in 1980, rather than the dates and figures given. England is around 69% in 2019, while Australia also rises substantially to about 64%; these important comparisons are omitted. The claim that the USA leads throughout is not supported at the start, when its rate is below England’s later recorded figures, and France is not consistently among the lowest because Korea is lower. The response is also 14 words below the required minimum. Add accurate endpoint comparisons and complete the final point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview and a detail paragraph, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “In contrast” show an effort to connect points. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview and details are brief, comparisons are not developed, and the final sentence stops at “as,” leaving the report incomplete. The transition “In contrast” is not followed by a clear contrast, and the shift from the USA to England and then France and Korea feels abrupt. Use separate, purposeful paragraphs for the overview and grouped country trends, and connect comparisons explicitly—for example, contrast the high US and English figures with Korea’s lower rate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “overweight rates,” “period,” “leading,” and “minimum,” so the main topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “a overweight,” “rised,” “soar” for a past trend, and “the country how have minimum overweight ratio.” Spelling errors such as “approxe” and “exesting” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise, conventional language for describing graphs, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, use “proportion of people who were overweight” and “increased steadily” rather than relying on repeated general terms such as “rate” and “country.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “Moreover, it soar after it and reaches to 85% till 2020,” but control is inconsistent and errors frequently affect readability. Subject–verb agreement is faulty in “the line graph illustrate” and “all counties have rised”; articles and noun phrases are also problematic in “a overweight.” Tense shifts occur within descriptions of past data, as in “it drop” followed by “reaches,” and sentence boundaries are unclear around “In contrast.” The final clause is incomplete. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and basic sentence patterns first, then combine ideas with controlled clauses. Proofread each sentence for a clear subject, a matching verb, and complete punctuation.

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