Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.0)

overweight is excessive gain of fats in body it is very common now a days because there has access of the vehicles the world is too fast mostly people rely upon vehicle to move rather than to walk

the past history of USA in overweight was approximately 55% in 1970 while it has been increased up to 75% in 2020 and it has been firstly start from USA, while as compare to USA it was secondly developed in Austria in 1980 and was about 40%, in 1985 it has been common in many countries like Australia, France, Spain, England. As compare to the pas the ratio of overweight will be increased and will such an alarming situation because due to overweight the cardio diseases is increased proportionally so to overcome in future precautionary measure must be adopt the awareness campaign regarding overweight in society should be run and to aware the people regarding such harm diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to adequately summarise the main features of the graph. Instead of focusing on the data trends, the introduction provides a general discussion on the causes of obesity, which is irrelevant to the task. The description of the data is fragmented and lacks a clear overview or comparison of the trends across the nine countries. Key features, such as the overall upward trajectory or the specific projected figures, are not clearly identified or reported. The response reads more like an opinion piece on health rather than a data analysis report. To improve, you must focus strictly on the information provided in the graph, identifying key trends and making direct comparisons between the countries.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical paragraphing, consisting of only two long, run-on blocks of text. There is no clear progression of ideas; the transition from the introduction to the data description is abrupt. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'while' and 'as compare to'. The lack of punctuation, particularly the absence of full stops between sentences, makes the text difficult to follow and creates a stream-of-consciousness effect. To improve, you should use clear paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. Phrases like 'access of the vehicles' and 'harm diseases' are non-standard and impede clarity. There is a reliance on basic, repetitive vocabulary, and the attempt to use more academic language results in awkward phrasing, such as 'increased proportionally'. The spelling of 'pas' (past) and the misuse of 'aware' as a verb in 'to aware the people' indicate a need for more precise word choice. To reach a higher band, focus on using precise terminology related to data description, such as 'upward trend', 'fluctuation', or 'projected to reach', and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure meaning. There is a complete lack of sentence punctuation, leading to numerous run-on sentences. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, as seen in 'cardio diseases is increased'. The use of passive voice is often clumsy, such as 'precautionary measure must be adopt'. The range of structures is very limited, relying heavily on simple, poorly connected clauses. To improve, you must focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and use full stops to separate distinct ideas. Practising the correct use of articles and verb tenses will also significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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