Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is a line graph illustrates us about past and current overweight rates,as well as it also projected future overweight rate in 9 different countries.

Overall the highest percentage of proportion overweight is in USA in year 2020 about 75% that was below 50% in 1970 most of the lowest proportion over weights in korea that was about 25% in just before 2000 and increases to 35% in 2020.

In the past 1970s USA was at the proportion Austria joined the field in 1980.Italy ,Canada and Korea just entered the game just before 2000 and there is no major changes in the proportion of over weight in then as in USA ,England and australia.

whilw USA started fron 45% in 1970 and reaches about 75% in 2020 but england came in field in 1990 and is not along with USA at 70%, Australia also took a start from 1990 and now is currently at 65% of overweight proportion .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially. While you manage to present some key data points from the graph—such as mentioning the USA starting at 45% in 1970 and reaching about 75% in 2020, and Korea starting around 25%—your selection of information is somewhat incomplete and lacks a clear, fully developed overview. The opening sentence contains awkward phrasing ('There is a line graph illustrates us about'), and your grouping of countries into time periods ('Austria joined the field in 1980', 'Italy, Canada and Korea just entered the game') is informal and unclear. To move to a higher level, you need to present a clearer summary overview of the main trends at the beginning and support all your main features with more precise, accurate data comparisons without relying on casual storytelling language.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged in a sufficiently coherent or logical manner. The text lacks clear paragraphing, being presented as a single dense block or poorly separated segments that do not guide the reader smoothly through the visual data. Cohesive devices are either inadequate, repetitive, or mechanically forced, as seen in transitions like 'whilw USA started fron...' and 'and then as in USA, England and australia.' There is no clear overall progression from an introduction to an overview, body details, and a conclusion. To achieve better cohesion, you must organise your response into distinct paragraphs—an introduction with an overview, followed by two body paragraphs—and use appropriate, varied linking words to connect your sentences logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is limited and basic, resulting in frequent lexical errors that occasionally impede communication. You rely on informal, non-academic phrases like 'joined the field' and 'entered the game' rather than precise statistical language. There are also notable spelling and word-form errors throughout the text, such as 'over weights', 'whilw', and 'fron'. While you attempt some less common vocabulary, the errors in word choice and spelling prevent you from reaching a higher standard. To improve your lexical score, you need to expand your range of academic vocabulary specifically suited for describing graphs, such as verbs and nouns denoting trends (e.g., 'fluctuate', 'surge', 'stabilise'), and ensure accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You demonstrate a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple or poorly constructed complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and missing articles or prepositions (for example, 'There is a line graph illustrates', 'proportion overweight is in USA', and 'england came in field in 1990 and is not along with USA'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and run-on sentences. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, you should focus on constructing accurate simple and complex sentences, controlling your past and present verb tenses when discussing trends over time, and mastering basic punctuation and articles.

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