Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.
Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In the given figue,Where 10 countries past and projected future overweight rates are shown in the following graph in the following years from 1970 to 2020, from 20% to 80%.
In the starting year of 1970, there's only one country USA directly on 50% in our proportional overweight graph, In the following year 1980 Austria joins the figure with 40% which is 10% lower than what USA had in 1970 where even he has a significant drop of 6% where it seems 44% for USA this year, In the year 1990 many countries report has been seen compitition has rapidly increased where England having 47% and just below there's spain with the 42% where Austria seems on the same position as before then there's Australia with 32% and Where France seems the lowest till 1990 at the 30% proporional weight, Italy seems there in 36% And in the year 2000 there's Canada with the all time high till date with 51% in the proportional weight where in the other hand there seems Korea with all time low 25% till 2000.
In the following years after 2000, it seems like every country has rapidly increased in their proportional overweight graph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the visual data regarding overweight rates, but it only minimally covers the task. The overview is confused and lacks clarity, failing to present a proper summary of overall trends. Furthermore, the selection of data points is random and inaccurate; for instance, the writer claims the USA was at 50% in 1970 when the data indicates 45%, and misinterprets the start dates for several countries. Many key features and major comparisons between the nations over the fifty-year span are omitted, resulting in an underdeveloped and disjointed response that barely touches upon the core requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
Information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent way. The response suffers from severe run-on sentences that combine multiple distinct observations without adequate punctuation or logical transitions, making the text difficult to follow. Paragraphing is poorly handled, as the body of the text is crammed into one enormous, breathless paragraph that lacks clear progression. While there are some basic linking words used to sequence the points, the overall structure lacks logical organization, causing the reader to lose track of the narrative and comparisons being made.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and occasionally inaccurate, which strains the reader's understanding. Words like 'figue', 'compitition', and 'proporional' demonstrate persistent spelling errors. The student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'proportional overweight graph', but this is used repetitively and unnaturally. Collocations are frequently weak, and lexical choices lack the precision required for academic reporting, such as describing a rise as a 'compitition has rapidly increased'. This places the response firmly within the lower intermediate lexical bracket.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed, overly long sentences plagued by frequent structural errors. There are numerous issues with verb forms, tense consistency, and missing articles, such as 'where even he has a significant drop' and 'many countries report has been seen'. Clauses are awkwardly strung together with repetitive use of 'where' and 'and', creating run-on structures that obscure the meaning. Punctuation is largely neglected, with commas used incorrectly to splice independent clauses together, resulting in frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader.
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