Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.
Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph compares past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in 9 differents selected countries.
Overall, the line graph showing proportion overweight and years of past and projected future overweight in selected OECD countries.
Initally in 1970 USA and england is rapidly increase propotion whilw austria and spain is slowly increase and canada and korea is about smootly gain where italy is relatively stable and frace is increasing proportion overweight.
Morever, USA is about 75 percentage in 2020 while canada is 70 and austria 65 where canada and spain is in same percentage 55 .
Furthermore in 2020 austria, italy , france is also in same position 44. while korea is only about 35 percentage
In conclusion past project and all incereas proportion overweight between 1970 to 2020.All different increase however some are rapidly and some are significantly. The rapildly is difinately a usa and the slowly is korea.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, coming in at 142 words (excluding prompt-copied text). The student responds to the task only minimally and tangentially. While there is an attempt to summarise the data, the report contains numerous inaccuracies regarding the figures and years. For example, the writer claims the USA is at '75 percentage in 2020 while canada is 70', which does not accurately reflect the provided graph. The overview sentence is incomplete and fragmented ('the line graph showing proportion overweight and years...'), meaning the key features and overall trends are not adequately selected or reported.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response displays some basic organisation with paragraph breaks and transition signals like 'Initally', 'Morever', and 'In conclusion'. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is frequently disrupted by fragmented sentences and abrupt shifts between countries and years. Cohesive devices are mechanical and often misused, such as repetitive transitions and faulty referencing ('where canada and spain is in same percentage'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of each paragraph lacks clear logical sequencing, making the overall arrangement difficult to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, featuring basic terms such as 'increase', 'proportion', and 'percentage'. There are noticeable lexical errors throughout the text, including spelling mistakes ('differents', 'Initally', 'Morever', 'incereas', 'rapildly', 'difinately') and awkward word choices or collocations ('smoothly gain', 'increasing proportion overweight'). These errors and the restricted range of vocabulary cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited resource that is minimally adequate at best.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent mistakes in subject-verb agreement ('usa and england is rapidly increase', 'austria and spain is slowly increase'), incorrect verb forms ('is rapidly increase', 'is about smootly gain'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing periods and misplaced commas. These frequent errors distort meaning in places and cause constant difficulty for the reader.
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