Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The data given shows the past and the current overweight rates, as well as a projected that have in future overweight rate in nine selected countries. The data is given in perstantage overweight.

Overall, we can understand that USA is the most ledding from the beging among other eight countries. And other countries also grown from theri pass.

In the year 1970, USA was the only countrie who was there in OECD session it was ledding around 47% in the begging but in the year 1980 it drops to 43% around rate but after that is streded riseing again but the year 2020 it was at the top by 73%. 2nd we have England, England came in the year 1990 it was first around 48% the it stred rising by thr year 2020 it toke 2nd pozistion around 70%. then we have Canada it take place around mid of 1990's with 50% of OECD countries but it didnt makes it good place in that same goes to Spain it toke place in the year 1990 and didnt make it well by the year 2020.

Austria it stred around 39% of proportion ovewight in the year 1980 and enend with 48% in the year 2020. For austrialia the game was differnt it takes 3rd place aromg others it begens with around 34% and eneds with65% of proportion overwight taking a 3rd place. Italy streds in 1995 with 38% and eneds with 43% in the year 2020. France stared in 1990 with 30% and end with 43% same as Italy. and Korea was the last who stred this in the year aound 1998 and eneds in 2020 by 35%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad pattern that rates generally rise and note that the USA is highest by the end, while mentioning all nine countries. However, the overview is too vague to summarise the main features accurately: “other countries also grown” does not distinguish the strong rises in the USA and Australia from the lower rates in Korea, France and Italy. Several details are inaccurate or unclear. The USA begins at about 45%, not 47%, and Australia finishes at about 64%, not 65%; more importantly, Austria ends near 46–47%, rather than 48%, and Italy near 45–46%, rather than 43%. The claim that England “came in” around 1990 also obscures its rise to about 69%. Select key comparisons and report them more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an opening, a brief overview, and subsequent discussion of the countries. The response also uses basic sequencing expressions such as “Overall,” “after that,” and “then.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because many countries are crowded into long sentences, and the comparisons do not form clear groups. For example, the sentence beginning “then we have Canada” moves from Canada to Spain without explaining the relationship between them. Paragraphing is limited, and repeated phrases such as “in the year” make the account feel mechanical. Organise the details into clearer paragraphs—for example, the highest-rising countries and then the lower-rate countries—and use concise links to show contrasts and trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “proportion overweight,” “rate,” “rise,” and “drops,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors make the writing harder to read: examples include “perstantage,” “ledding,” “beging,” “streded,” and “ovewight.” Several expressions are also unsuitable or unclear, such as “didnt makes it good place” and “the game was differnt.” Use standard trend language and accurate collocations to describe the data, rather than relying on vague phrases like “took place” or “made it well.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your meaning more accessible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, but control of sentence structure is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships unclear. For instance, “USA was the only countrie who was there in OECD session” has an awkward relative clause, while “it drops to 43% … but after that is streded riseing” lacks a clear, correctly formed verb sequence. There are also problems with agreement and tense, as in “other countries also grown,” and with sentence boundaries in the long country-by-country passages. Use mostly clear simple sentences, then add controlled comparisons with “while” or “whereas.” Check past-tense forms, articles, and subject–verb agreement before combining clauses.

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