Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.
Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph compares projected future overweight rate, as well as apast and current overweight rates in nine particularly countries
overall, it can be clearly seen that whole country .projected future increased over the periods.The USA attend its peak ,while korea show lowest trends as compared to others.
Looking first to USA stood at 45% proportion overweight in 1997 drope to 42% in 1980.After three decade it completly followed sharpe rose trend and reached to 65% in 2020. England followed path of increased without drops.Canada firstly dropre in proportion then surge continously.spain adopt zigzag path first decreased then extend to staight,.Austrial start in staight consistant graph donor show up rise patern except at end rose same itlay follow route.
Turning korea start from 25% in 2000 extended then adpot staight line after thisrise 35% in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify the broad pattern that rates generally rise and note that the USA is highest while Korea is lowest, which gives the response some relevant coverage. However, the overview is unclear (“whole country .projected future increased”) and the report includes several inaccurate figures: the USA begins at about 45% in 1972, not 1997, and reaches about 74% by 2020, not 65%. Many countries are mentioned only vaguely, without meaningful comparisons or accurate supporting details. The claim that England rises “without drops” also overlooks its small fluctuations. The response is 136 words, below the required 150, which further limits its coverage. Develop a clear overview and select accurate start/end figures and notable contrasts for several countries.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening overview is followed by a paragraph describing individual countries, and sequencing phrases such as “Looking first” and “Turning” help signal movement through the data. However, the progression is difficult to follow because many countries are compressed into one long sequence, with abrupt transitions and little grouping by trend or level. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are often unclear, as in “spain adopt zigzag path first decreased then extend to staight,.Austrial…”. Some links are also vague, including “same itlay follow route,” so the reader cannot readily identify which pattern is being compared. Use separate, logically grouped paragraphs and clear comparison phrases to make the information easier to track.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion overweight,” “peak,” “zigzag path,” and “rose,” and you attempt to describe different trends rather than simply listing countries. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand, such as “attend its peak,” “followed path of increased,” and “adpot staight line.” Spelling errors are frequent, including “drope,” “completly,” “sharpe,” and “Austrial,” and some phrases are too vague to describe the data precisely. Build a reliable set of trend expressions and check spelling; for example, use “reached a peak,” “followed an upward trend,” and “remained relatively stable.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts a few longer structures, such as “After three decade it completly followed sharpe rose trend,” but most sentences rely on simple, repetitive patterns, and errors are frequent enough to obscure relationships between ideas. There are problems with articles and sentence construction in “The line graph compares projected future overweight rate,” and with tense and agreement in “korea show lowest trends.” Several clauses lack clear subjects or verbs, while punctuation creates run-on or incomplete sentences, particularly in the list of countries beginning “Canada firstly…” Use complete sentences with a consistent past tense for historical data and future forms only for projections. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and punctuation before adding more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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