Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates past and current obese rates, moreover a estimated future overweight rate in nine choosen nations.

Overall, the graph shows the past and projected future obses rate in nine countries where USA has the number highest number of overweight population in 2020 while Korea has the least number of obese in 2020.

First and foremost, in 1970, thier were 45% fat citizens were present in USA while rised exponentially till 2020. While England and Canada rises simultaneously till 2020. Moreover, the graph of Australia rises steadly. In addition, Italy graph fluctuated over the years. At last, Korea have the least number of people n \\

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the graph’s broad subject and give a basic overview, noting that the USA is highest and Korea lowest in 2020. However, the report is substantially incomplete: it ends mid-sentence (“At last, Korea have the least number of people n”) and does not cover the full set of countries or provide a developed comparison of the main trends. Some details are inaccurate or imprecise: the USA starts at about 45% in 1972, not 1970, and its rise is not consistently exponential because the rate initially dips before increasing. The claim that Italy fluctuated is also misleading; it is mostly stable before rising. The response is 42 words below the required minimum. Add a complete overview and select several accurate comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a recognisable basic structure: an opening sentence, an overview beginning “Overall,” and a body paragraph introduced by “First and foremost.” This gives the reader some sense of progression. However, the response is too brief and unfinished to develop a coherent account, and the final clause breaks off, leaving the last idea incomplete. Several linking expressions are used mechanically or do not clarify relationships: “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “At last” introduce points without showing how the countries’ trends compare. The repeated “While” also creates fragments rather than connected comparisons. Group countries by similar patterns—for example, the strongest increases and the lower-rate countries—and use clear links such as “whereas” or “by contrast” to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “projected future,” “fluctuated,” and “steadily,” so the topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural. “Obese rates” and “fat citizens” are unsuitable for describing the chart, which reports the proportion of people who are overweight; “overweight rates” or “the proportion of the population who were overweight” would be more precise. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “choosen,” “obses,” and “thier,” and “number highest number” is repetitive. Aim for accurate trend language such as “rose,” “remained stable,” and “increased gradually,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few different sentence forms, including an overview clause beginning “where” and a contrast introduced by “While.” However, control is inconsistent, and several errors make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “there were 45% fat citizens were present” combines two sentence patterns; write “45% of the US population was overweight.” In “England and Canada rises,” the verb does not agree with the plural subject, and “Korea have” has the same agreement problem. “While England and Canada rises simultaneously till 2020” is also an incomplete dependent clause. Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, maintain past tense for historical data, and proofread agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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