Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the line graph illustrates past and current overweight rates, as well projected future overweight rate in nine selected the countries throught 50 yesrs peroid.

it can be see, all counteries increased during the years, while the highest incresed usa and thge lowest increased korea, england and austrila were similar climb steadily.

in 1970 usa at stood 46 properation overweight after the declined they steadily climb in reached the high which represented 74 proporation overweight , england at stood 44 before the reached high pigure which represented 69 proporation overweight,Canada which at stood 50 then grammatically decrease recorded 48 after that they reached 55 in 2020

in 1980 austrila which at stood only 32 then sharply increased reached the 63 in 2020,korea was the lowest which at stood 25% in between 1990 and 2000,then steadily incresed before declined after thart they reached 35% in 2020,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the broad pattern of rising rates and note that the USA is highest while Korea is lowest, which gives the response some relevant coverage. However, the overview is too general: “all countries increased” overlooks fluctuations, and the claim that Korea had the smallest increase is not supported by the figures. Several details are inaccurate or unclear: Australia is described as rising from 32% to 63%, whereas the chart shows about 34% to 64%; the USA begins around 45%, not 46%; and the account of Korea’s early period is confusing. Most countries receive little or no coverage. The response is also six words below the required minimum. Add a clear overview and select accurate comparisons across more countries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic progression from a brief introduction and overview to country-specific details, and grouping figures into paragraphs is a useful start. However, the organisation is difficult to follow because several countries and time periods are combined in long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “in 1970 usa” moves from the USA to England and Canada without clear separation. Linking words such as “then,” “before,” and “after that” are repeated, and some references, including “they,” do not clearly identify the country or rate. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate body paragraphs that group countries by level or trend. Clear sentence boundaries and more precise referencing would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “steadily,” and “proportion overweight,” so the reader can recognise the topic and general trends. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors make the report harder to read: examples include “counteries,” “incresed,” “proporation,” and “throught.” Some word combinations are also unnatural, such as “the highest increased” and “reached the high figure.” Aim for accurate trend language and collocations, for example, “the largest rise,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at.” Proofreading spelling and using a wider range of precise verbs would make the descriptions clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to describe change over time using clauses with “before,” “after,” and “while,” but sentence structures are mostly limited and frequently inaccurate. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction appear in phrases such as “usa at stood,” “they steadily climb,” and “then grammatically decrease recorded 48.” Articles and prepositions are also often missing or misplaced, as in “as well projected future” and “in reached the high.” These problems sometimes obscure the intended meaning, and punctuation does not consistently separate ideas. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate time clauses. Check tense consistency when reporting past and projected figures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.