Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph below shows past and current overweight rates, as well as a projected future overweight rate in nine selected countries.

Summarise the infonnation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Past and projected future overweight rates in selected OECD countries

Student answer (Band 4.5)

first of all this graph showes that overweight in different cuntry also also shows anout its percents in every country first of all we should explain the overweight people of USA in 1970 to 1980 the overweight people of USA dacrease but 1980 to 2000 the overweight poeople increase in 2000 its majority were cponstant and last 2000 to 2020 its again increase .

second one aws england its 1990 to 2000 its move constantly increase 2000 to 2005 it more increrase 2005 to 2010 its again move increase constantly but 2010 to 2020 its again increase consdtantlt.third one is in canada 1992 to 2000 its decrease constantly but 2000 to 2020 its increase constantly .forth one is in spain increase 1985 to 2000 in 2000 its decrease cponstantly but 2000 tpo 2020 itys condstantly increase.fifth one is austrila its constant 1980 to 1990 in 1990 to 1995 its some increase but 1995 to 2008 its increase constantky 2008 to 2010 its decrease its increase 2010 to 2015 constant but 2015 to 2020 its reamin constant.six one is itly 1995 to 2000 its increase 2000 to 2010 its constant in 2010 to 2015 its increase but in last its reamin constant 2015 to 2020.seven one korea 2000 to 2005 its increase in 2005 to 2008 its again decreae n2008 to 2020 its constantly increase .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several relevant country trends, including the USA’s initial fall followed by a rise and the general increases in England, Canada and Korea. However, the response mainly lists country-by-country movements and does not provide a clear overview of the graph’s most important features, such as the USA remaining highest and Korea lowest, or the broad upward trend across countries. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: for example, the USA does not remain constant around 2000, and Canada’s early figures fluctuate rather than showing a steady decrease. France is omitted, and Australia’s trend is partly misreported. To improve, give a concise overview first, then select and accurately compare the most significant trends and endpoints.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence, moving from the USA through several other countries, and time references help the reader follow some changes. However, the repeated pattern of “first,” “second,” “third” and “its” makes the account feel like a list rather than a logically organised summary. There is no distinct overview or clear grouping of countries with similar patterns, and the long run-on passage makes relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Some transitions are also unclear, as in “in 2000 its decrease constantly.” Use separate paragraphs for an overview and selected details, group countries by comparable trends, and connect changes with precise linking phrases such as “whereas” and “by contrast.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant trend words, including “increase,” “decrease,” “constant” and “remain,” so the reader can often identify the intended direction of change. However, vocabulary is basic and highly repetitive, and frequent spelling errors—such as “cuntry,” “dacrease” and “consdtantlt”—make the writing harder to understand. Several expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, including “its majority were constant” and “move constantly increase.” Build a more varied set of accurate graph-description terms, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, describe a line as rising steadily, fluctuating slightly, or remaining stable, rather than repeatedly using “increase” and “constant.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to describe changes across different time periods, but most sentences follow the same simple pattern and there is little accurate variety in sentence structure. Errors in verb forms, agreement and sentence construction are frequent, as in “this graph showes” and “the overweight people … dacrease.” Missing punctuation and run-on sentences also obscure how clauses relate to one another. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to recover, particularly in the longer descriptions of Australia and Spain. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, use the past tense consistently for historical data, and separate clauses with full stops. Then add controlled comparisons using structures such as “while” or “whereas.”

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