Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The most crucial aim of science should be to improve and enhance people's lives. I partly agree with this statement because it helps people in different aspects of lives. However, I disagree with this view as well because individuals rely more on technology. In this essay, I will discuss both views before reaching a conclusion.

On the one hand, the most important aim of science should be to improve lives of people as we see it helps people in different ways. For instance, now smartphones make communication easy for people. In the past, people only contacted with letters and they took days or even month to deliver message. But nowadays, people can contact their relatives and friends anywhere in the world. Moreover, they can see them on video calls. Therefore, science helps to improve lives by making communication easy.

On the other hand, I believe that it affects people's mind and health. People are relying more on the technology and can't use their mind for the basic questions. For example, younger generation are relying more on ChatGpt and they ask general questions from them such as what we can do if person has headache. Consequently, relying too much on these apps may limit their brains.

In a nutshell, although technology such as digital devices make communication easy, I think it affects our brains in a negative way. From my perspective, people should adopt a balanced approach such as only use smartphones for basic needs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a partly agreeing position and address both the benefits and possible drawbacks of science, using smartphones and ChatGPT as examples. However, the discussion is limited: the communication example is explained, while the claim that technology affects people’s minds is asserted rather than clearly demonstrated. The conclusion also shifts towards a recommendation to use smartphones only for basic needs, without fully resolving how this supports your stated partial agreement. The response is 234 words, so it is 16 words below the required minimum; this restricts the space available to develop your reasons. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how science improves lives beyond communication and support the concern about over-reliance with a clear consequence or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In a nutshell” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression is somewhat mechanical, and the relationship between the ideas is not always clear. For example, the introduction says you partly agree, but the conclusion focuses mainly on the negative effects and a recommendation, rather than bringing the two sides together. Some links are also repetitive, particularly the repeated explanation that science makes communication easy. Make the position consistent across the essay and use clearer links to show how each example supports the main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “communication,” “technology,” “relying,” and “balanced approach.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “the most crucial aim” and “adopt a balanced approach.” However, the range is limited and some expressions are repetitive or imprecise, including repeated references to “people” and “easy.” Phrases such as “affects people’s mind” and “limit their brains” do not express the intended concern naturally, while “contacted with letters” is an awkward collocation. Aim for more precise language about dependence, cognitive skills, and health, and vary repeated words. This would make the argument clearer and more appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some attempts at complex structures, including “although technology such as digital devices make communication easy” and “because individuals rely more on technology.” Meaning is generally understandable, but errors occur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and plurals. For example, “younger generation are relying” needs a plural form or a singular subject with matching agreement, and “if person has headache” is missing articles. In “they ask general questions from them,” the pronoun reference is unclear. There is also a faulty construction in “people should adopt a balanced approach such as only use smartphones.” Practise building accurate clauses and check subject–verb agreement and article use, especially in longer sentences.

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