Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There has been a growing number of scientists who are focusing on improving modern devices instead of improving people's lives. There is an ongoing debate about whether the aim of science should be focused only on the improvement of people's lives. In my opinion, scientists should be more focused on improving our health than on entertainment.

In recant years there has been a widespread of moder devices and other entertainment methods. Some believe that our community is doing well enough and that we do not need to keep trying to improve our lives, and therefore, they believe that scientists should focus on other things. Meanwhile, I believe that there are still other aspects of our lives, like curing genetic disorders, that scientists should focus on. For instance, instead of finding new ways how to make our community look better by plastic surgeries, we should focus on trying to find ways to improve our health.

It is generally known that our healthcare needs to keep improving. Some people are dying every day due to and diseases that are yet to be cured. Many scientists tried to find a solution to this, but only some succeeded. It is an honorable job to be trying to improve our lives and in my opinion, many scientists shifted their focus on easy ways to become famous and gain wealth. Improving our health takes a lot of knowledge and hard work, therefore there are not many individuals who want to do so. It is widely believed that a growing number of people are in desperate need of help, therefore, science should focus on finding a solution to their problems.

In conclusion, it is good that people are finding more ways how to entertain themselves; however, as long as there are diseases that are a threat to our society, I believe that, the aim of science should be to cure them and finde other ways to improve our lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that science should prioritise health and curing disease over entertainment. The response addresses the question and gives relevant examples, including genetic disorders, plastic surgery, and illnesses that remain uncured. However, the discussion focuses mainly on health versus entertainment, while the prompt asks more broadly whether improving people’s lives should be science’s most important aim. The claim that scientists pursue fame and wealth, for example, is asserted rather than supported, and the contrast with entertainment is not explored in much detail. To strengthen the response, explain more fully how health research improves lives and acknowledge other scientific priorities, such as environmental protection or safer technology, before clarifying why human welfare should remain the central goal.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop the health-focused argument, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress from entertainment and devices to healthcare needs. Linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. The second paragraph moves from modern devices to the claim that society is doing well, without explaining the link, and “therefore” is repeated in close succession in the third paragraph. Some references, such as “this” in “find a solution to this,” could identify the problem more precisely. Build clearer links between each claim and its supporting example, and vary transitions while keeping paragraph focus consistent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “genetic disorders,” “healthcare,” “cured,” and “entertainment,” which makes your main argument understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “in desperate need of help” and “a threat to our society.” However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “a widespread of modern devices” is not a natural expression, “ways how to make” is awkward, and “recant,” “moder,” and “finde” are misspelled. “Improving our lives” is repeated frequently, and “other things” is vague. Aim for more precise alternatives such as “technological innovations,” “methods of improving public health,” and “quality of life,” and check spelling and common word partnerships carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses with “instead of,” “as long as,” and “therefore,” and your meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent understanding. For example, “Some people are dying every day due to and diseases” contains a faulty construction, while “many scientists shifted their focus” would fit the general present-time argument better as “have shifted” or “shift.” The sentence beginning “It is an honorable job to be trying…” is also awkwardly structured, and the comma after “I believe that” in the conclusion is unnecessary. Review sentence construction, tense consistency, and punctuation, especially in longer sentences, while continuing to use varied structures.

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