Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

several indiviual state that the primary environmental effect of our time is the reductions of specific category of some plants and animals.some indiviual say that are many crucial ecological concerns.

I completely agree with this, that the main challanges to a number of plants and animals are the environmental concerns.

their are numerous kind of activities in our sorrunding atmosphere which harmful for both plants and animal.the main couse of this is human involved activities. such as, air pollution, water pollution and land pollution these are the main concern. the secondly main couse is the urbanization.indivual need more oppurtunities to live thier life.

from my perpective we can reduce these concern to environment in numerous way. the first thing we sould do is to clean our ecocystem by our self.

Moreover, we should need to reduce the use of plastic bag and drof these in dust been. the another thing is to reduce the the use fuel and working on wood and fire. the alternative of these will be to use the ectric car and the ectric tools to decresed the smoke in air. we should need to to do not drop trash and other material in the flow water.the best is to reduce the use plastic and recycled the products and do add toxins and contaimenated to water.

if we should work on this we can create better environment for our self.we can reduce the risk of diseses such as fever,respiratory disese,lung effect and other more diseses.and also provide a better environment of p

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises that human activity harms the environment and gives an opinion favouring action to address these concerns. However, it does not adequately discuss both views in the question. The loss of particular plant and animal species is mentioned in the opening, but the essay does not explain why this loss is important or give examples; instead, it shifts to pollution, urbanisation and ways to reduce them. The opposing view—that other environmental problems are more important—is also not clearly explained or compared with species loss. Your position is difficult to identify because “I completely agree with this” has no clear reference. To address the task more fully, explain each view separately, compare their significance, and state directly which you consider the main problem, supporting that judgement with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some discernible organisation: the response moves from an introduction to environmental causes, then to proposed actions and a concluding idea. Basic linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “the first thing,” and “the another thing” signal additions. However, progression is difficult to follow because the central comparison in the question is not used to organise the paragraphs. Several ideas are crowded together in long sequences, and the final sentence is incomplete (“and also provide a better environment of p”), leaving the conclusion unclear. References such as “this” and “these concerns” do not always make clear which idea they refer to. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and connect each supporting point explicitly to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “air pollution,” “urbanization,” “ecosystem,” “recycled,” and “contaminated.” These choices show an effort to discuss environmental causes and solutions. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems make parts difficult to understand: “indiviual,” “sorrunding,” “oppurtunities,” “dust been,” and “ectric” are examples. Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “working on wood and fire” and “reduce the risk of diseases.” Build accuracy with common environmental collocations before trying more ambitious wording—for example, “loss of biodiversity,” “habitat destruction,” and “reduce emissions.” Proofreading spelling and checking whether each phrase expresses the intended meaning would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and attempts a few longer structures, including “if we should work on this” and “the first thing we should do.” However, sentence control is weak, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes obscure meaning. For example, “their are numerous kind of activities” has problems with the opening construction and singular/plural agreement, while “the main couse of this is human involved activities” is not formed clearly. Several sentences run together without reliable punctuation, and the final sentence is unfinished. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate clauses. Check agreement and articles, and use full stops to separate each proposed solution.

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