Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

some individuals argue that the major environmental issue of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. however the other people believes that environmental problem play a more vital roles but in my percepective loses of biological groups is not the main environmental concern.

On the one hand side, one of the main reason in environmental problem is deforestation and pollution. people cut down the tress, build the road and factories,construct the houses and replace the beautiful forest however,pollution day by day increase and asthma,lungs patient faces alot of challenges in life.furthermore,after cutting a large amount of trees it could be leads toward climate changes problem and animals hunting rise people take the advantages from the animal fur and makes some clothes like jackets shirts, luxury watches etc.

On the other hand side, forest areas are more than develop areas and animals generation rise. whilst, build the road and factories people take the advantages become the more productive afterward, econonomic growth increase it leads across the different country.

In my percepective, Authorities should need to take actions about animal hunting and deforestion because several reasons without forest asthma and lungs patient feel difficulty to freshly oxygen, makes a lot of national parks stop the illegal hunting it could be benefical. therefore, Government should acquire an action about pollution and contamination due to pollution from factories, firework smoke produce a unhealthy oxygen.

In conclusion, Government take action action will improving the environmental concerns and stoping the illegal process it could br developmental

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to discuss both views and give a position, stating that species loss is “not the main environmental concern.” However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the first body paragraph shifts among deforestation, pollution, health, climate change and hunting without clearly explaining which environmental problems are more important or why. The opposing view is especially unclear; “forest areas are more than develop areas and animals generation rise” does not establish a convincing case for prioritising species loss. Your conclusion calls for action but does not clearly resolve the comparison. The response is also 242 words, below the required 250; the 13 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a clear reason and a relevant example, then restate your position precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an identifiable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting sides, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help indicate the intended discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several points are joined without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from tree cutting to asthma, climate change and animal products, while the second combines forest coverage, animal populations and economic growth without explaining their links. Connectors such as “furthermore,” “whilst” and “therefore” are sometimes used inaccurately or mechanically. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and use clear referencing and transitions to show how each supporting point relates to that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant environmental vocabulary, including “deforestation,” “pollution,” “climate changes,” “illegal hunting” and “national parks,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or awkward choices make ideas harder to understand, such as “animals generation rise,” “lungs patient,” “freshly oxygen” and “unhealthy oxygen.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “percepective,” “econonomic” and “deforestion,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise environmental collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe species as “declining in number,” refer to “people with lung conditions,” and say that forests provide “clean air” or help “absorb carbon dioxide.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “without forest asthma and lungs patient feel difficulty,” and you use clauses introduced by “because” and “after.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “the other people believes,” “environmental problem play,” and “it could be leads”; these need agreement and a correctly formed verb. Some sentences also run together, as in the opening body paragraph, where punctuation does not clearly separate ideas. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check articles, plural forms and verb patterns, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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