Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
For communication and technological development, few things are more crucial than spending hours every day on their smartphones. In many developed and developing countries, a substantial amount of money is allocated to social media platforms, as it often necessitates the use of various resources, such as online games, YouTube, Instagram, and web learning. From my perspective, there are several reasons children used to use mobile phones every day.
Naturally, social media platforms in the form of online news, watching movies, and online games are considered more essential for children, creating reliable opportunities for mobile phones that are not available from other sources. Moreover, it demonstrates unparalleled benefits for individuals and society, permeating and enhancing every conceivable sector of society. Since children seek social development and fulfilment through online games, ample investment in education is imperative to elevate modern living standards. If such a model is adopted by governments and individuals alike, many citizens stand to benefit significantly. Social media platforms in nations such as Finland, for instance, have emerged as a pivotal model for development, delivering enhanced services for their individuals.
On the other hand, some children may shy away from smartphones due to a range of challenges, including mental and physical health issues, financial constraints, limited resources, lack of time, and family responsibilities. While smartphones are widely embraced in many major cities worldwide, children impoverished in developing nations frequently contend with profound financial limitations and deteriorating conditions when striving to implement this approach. Therefore, the notion of mobile phones is not always appealing. From an economic, social, and national perspective, if the goals of children dictate that social media platforms are not merely an option but an imperative, children may choose to embrace it.
In conclusion, it is the responsibility of governments, parents, and individuals to evaluate the role of smartphones and determine whether they will do more harm than good. Thus, it is evident that fostering an interest in responsible smartphone use while taking advantage of its educational and communicative benefits is beneficial.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on environmental problems, specifically the loss of species versus other environmental issues. However, the essay focuses entirely on the role of smartphones and social media in children's lives. Because the response fails to address the prompt's topic, it cannot be assessed as a successful attempt at the task. It does not present a position on the environmental debate, nor does it provide relevant arguments or examples related to the actual question. This constitutes a failure to address the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
While the essay is structured into paragraphs and uses some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'On the other hand', the internal logic is disconnected from the prompt. The progression of ideas is coherent within the context of the irrelevant topic (smartphones), but because the content does not relate to the task, the overall coherence is severely compromised. Paragraphing is present, but the logical flow does not serve the purpose of answering the essay question provided.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for expressing ideas, showing some range with terms like 'imperative', 'unparalleled', 'permeating', and 'pivotal'. However, the lexical choices are entirely misapplied to the topic. The student demonstrates an ability to use academic-style vocabulary, but the lack of relevance to the prompt prevents a higher score. The language is clear and readable, but it fails to address the specific subject matter required by the IELTS task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses ('If such a model is adopted...') and relative clauses. There is a mix of simple and complex forms, and grammatical errors are relatively infrequent. Punctuation is generally accurate. The control of grammar is sufficient for a higher band, but the score is limited by the fact that the grammatical structures are used to convey information that is completely irrelevant to the assigned task.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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