Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

For communication and technological development, few things are more crucial than spending hours every day on their smartphones. In many developed and developing countries, a substantial amount of money is allocated to social media platforms, as it often necessitates the use of various resources, such as online games, YouTube, Instagram, and web learning. From my perspective, there are several reasons children used to use mobile phones every day.

Naturally, social media platforms in the form of online news, watching movies, and online games are considered more essential for children, creating reliable opportunities for mobile phones that are not available from other sources. Moreover, it demonstrates unparalleled benefits for individuals and society, permeating and enhancing every conceivable sector of society. Since children seek social development and fulfillment through online games, ample investment in education is imperative to elevate modern living standards. If such a model is adopted by governments and individuals alike, many citizens stand to benefit significantly. Social media platforms in nations such as Finland, for instance, have emerged as a pivotal model for development, delivering enhanced services for their individuals.

On the other hand, some children may shy away from smartphones due to a range of challenges, including mental and physical health issues, financial constraints, limited resources, lack of time, and family responsibilities. While smartphones are widely embraced in many major cities worldwide, children impoverished in developing nations frequently contend with profound financial limitations and deteriorating conditions when striving to implement this approach. Therefore, the notion of mobile phones is not always appealing. From an economic, social, and national perspective, if the goals of children dictate that social media platforms are not merely an option but an imperative, children may choose to embrace it.

In conclusion, it is the responsibility of governments, parents, and individuals to evaluate the role of smartphones and determine whether they will do more harm than good. Thus, it is evident that fostering an interest in responsible smartphone use while taking advantage of its educational and communicative benefits is beneficial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on environmental problems, specifically the loss of species versus other environmental issues. However, your essay discusses the role of smartphones and social media. Because you have failed to address the topic provided in the prompt, the response cannot be assessed as a relevant answer to the task. In an actual IELTS examination, this would result in a very low score for Task Achievement as the content is entirely unrelated to the question asked. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your ideas directly answer the specific question posed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

While the essay is structured into paragraphs and uses some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', the logical progression is severely hampered by the fact that the content does not relate to the topic. The paragraphs are internally coherent in their own right, but they do not contribute to a coherent argument regarding the environmental issues mentioned in the prompt. The use of linking words is mechanical, and the lack of relevance to the task makes the overall structure ineffective for the purpose of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as 'allocated', 'imperative', 'unparalleled', and 'pivotal'. However, the word choice is often used in contexts that do not make sense given the prompt. For example, discussing 'social media platforms' as an environmental solution is a misuse of vocabulary in this context. While you show an ability to use more sophisticated language, the lack of relevance to the topic means the vocabulary is not being used to convey appropriate meaning for the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'children used to use mobile phones' (which is awkward phrasing) and 'children impoverished in developing nations' (which is slightly unnatural). However, the grammar is generally functional and does not significantly impede the reader's understanding of the sentences themselves. You have a decent grasp of sentence construction, but you need to focus on ensuring that your grammatical range is applied to relevant and logical arguments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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