Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The growing influence of smartphones in modern society has sparked various debates. This issue is particularly significant because its impact effects both individuals in communities in multiple ways. In this essay, I will discuss the positive and negative aspects of children spend hours every day on their smartphones.
One of the key benefits of smartphones firstly, mobile phones access to app games social apps of benefits app Binguance, bigger and other app online work. Smartphones is very easy online work and easy benefits app. This is also evident from the fact that smartphone children always to accept helps in improving understanding, problem solving method in society.
However, despite the benefits, children waste of time smartphone. Smartphones should not allow for children. Can also lead to significant challenges. For example, in values and beliefs related to health is very lot loses benefits is low mobile phones eyes weak. lead to misunderstanding and conflicts.
Additionally, it can also lead to social tension, which may negatively affect relationships and unity within communities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, which severely limits the development of ideas. Furthermore, the essay is completely off-topic; the prompt asks for a discussion on environmental problems (loss of species vs. other issues), but the student writes about the influence of smartphones on children. Because the task was not addressed at all, the score is heavily impacted. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your response directly answers the specific question asked, while also meeting the minimum length requirement to allow for sufficient idea development.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed and often incoherent. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the awkward transition 'One of the key benefits of smartphones firstly'. The lack of a clear central theme related to the prompt makes the overall structure difficult to follow. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and linking ideas with appropriate transition words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'however' to create a logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and often repetitive or misused. Phrases like 'benefits app Binguance' and 'easy benefits app' are unclear and do not convey a coherent meaning. There is a lack of academic vocabulary, and the word choice is often imprecise, such as 'very lot loses benefits'. The student struggles to express complex ideas due to a restricted range of vocabulary. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary and collocations, and practice using synonyms to avoid repeating basic words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. Examples include 'its impact effects both individuals in communities' (should be 'affects'), 'children spend hours' (should be 'children spending hours'), and 'Smartphones is very easy' (subject-verb agreement error). Sentence structures are simple and often fragmented. There is little evidence of complex sentence construction. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and sentence structure before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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