Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In a contemporary society, are taking risks in the professional and personal lives have emerged as a highly debated issue. While this has both positive and negative aspects.

In the essay, certain adverse ramifications associated with this development cannot be entirely overlooked; it is widely maintained that taking risks are vital part for people's live, and its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

To commence with, the compelling reason for this benefit is that it develops a confidence of a person while being unaware of the truth.

It is fact that no one knows the about their future, so people mostly are uncertain of significant things and capable of applying in their

professional lives. This will lead them to explore their new journeys because somethimes it is fruitful for a person, if they get a positive

outomes. Furthermore, in professional lives people invest a fortune to setup their businesses, and donot know whether it will be established or not. Although it is a tough decision, but taking risks will make a society to learn about the pros and cons. For example, entrepreneurs invest a large amount of money in startups, and if they get enough revenue from their businesses, they will further invest it.This will not only motivate them but also build a confidence to take more risk in the future.

Furthermore, people in their personal lives are uncertain about deciding their future which will be good for a job prospectous. Because till elementary school, there are ample number of subjects which are being taught by a teacher. But in tertiary education, they have to opt for a major subject, which will lead to shape their future. So learners take a quick decision, without knowing the outcomes, and they have a sense of fear in their heart, whether they accomplish or not. For instance, people take a personal live decision by themselves, and choose that subjects that flourish in the upcoming period. By doing this, they boost their power of thinking and fosters them to take further personal decisions on their own without the involvement of other individuals.

On the other hand, some people are not good at taking a quick decision of their lives. They get in trouble, and make them confuse because they

want everything smooth without any hazard. By taking a lot of stress, they get serious health diseases. Nevertheless, these concerns are often overstated. With prudent utilization and effective management, taking risks in such situations still yields far better benefits than drawbacks.

To sum up, although this development entails certain drawbacks such as stress and anxiety issues among the people, it remains predominantly advantageous. On balance, the benefits it offers clearly surpass its potential drawbacks, making it a positive and progressive development on the modern society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on environmental problems (loss of species vs. other issues), but the essay discusses the merits of taking risks in professional and personal life. Because the student failed to address the task prompt entirely, the score for Task Achievement is severely impacted. While the essay is of sufficient length and presents a position on the topic of risk-taking, it does not respond to the specific question asked, resulting in a failure to meet the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand'. However, the logical progression is hindered by the fact that the content is irrelevant to the prompt. The use of linking words is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'To commence with, the compelling reason for this benefit is...', which lacks a clear antecedent. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow of ideas is often disjointed due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and often imprecise. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job prospectous' (prospects), 'make them confuse' (confused), and 'prudent utilization'. While the student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, these attempts are often unsuccessful or result in unnatural phrasing. The repetition of basic structures and the inability to use vocabulary accurately to convey complex ideas limit the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement ('taking risks are vital', 'taking risks make a society'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'In a contemporary society, are taking risks... have emerged'. While there is an attempt at complex sentence structures, these are frequently faulty. The high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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